25 people anonymously share the crazy stories they've had to keep secret their whole lives.

The internet can cause all kinds of problems (R.I.P. attention spans), but it can also be very, very useful. One area where the internet really shines is providing a forum for anonymous sharing. Because we all know how difficult it is when you have a really wild story that you're dying to tell the people in your life, but can't because it's too dark or embarrassing or illegal. So you have to keep it to yourself and it just eats you up inside. This is where websites like Reddit, and the anonymity of a username, come in handy.Someone asked Reddit this titillating question: "what’s that story you’ve never been able to tell?" These 25 people anonymously share the crazy, embarrassing and illicit stories they've never been able to tell—until now:1.) From cheaptimemachines: I found out when I was 28 that my dad's side of the family had been in the witness protection program my entire life, and that their names were not what I had been told. 2.) From Ethanopian: I work at a cinema and while doing a general check that everything is operating smoothly, a peculiar movement caught my eye. This particular session was a father's Day session for Pixels back in 2015. The entire crowd consisted entirely of fathers and their young children.... Except for the young couple f*cking in the back row. Poor, innocent 16 year old me, fresh on the job, was gobsmacked and I froze much like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't bring myself to give them the old "Hey please stop f*cking thanks" so the manager gave them the awkward tap on the shoulder. Cut to the end of the film, the manager and I are at the exit waiting to see the faces of the culprits. Straight out the door, operating at some serious pace is my sister's best friend and her boyfriend. Both, surprisingly, were clearly in a great mood, until she made eye contact with a stunned Ethanopian. No face has ever gone from all smiles to utter horror so quick. 3.) From toddtheoddgod: About 6 months ago, I was very close to suicide. I actually was about to do it. Thinking about killing myself and at one point I had agreed to myself I would end it. I got home that night and it was just me and my cat as my fiancé was at work. my cat (I think she knew I was sad) and she NEVER SITS in peoples laps, sat up in my lap and proceeded to flip on her belly and play wrestle with my hand. I broke down for about 3 hours. My fiancé came home knowing none the wiser, but had brought my favorite dish from her work (brewery) cuz she knew I was feeling down. I’ve never told her that was the night I decided not to pull the trigger. 4.) From Loggerdon: When I was a college freshman I tried to boil 3 eggs then fell asleep. I woke up to a smell. I went to the stove and the water was completely gone from the pot. So like an idiot I got some water in a big bowl and poured it into the pot. You probably know where this is going. The eggs exploded like dynamite. Scalding hot egg hit my face. It blew me back and knocked me to the floor. Here's the scary part. I felt my face and looked at the egg on my finger but thought it was burnt skin coming off my face. I almost started crying. How badly burned was I that the my facial skin came off to the touch? I walked to the bathroom, shaking, and looked in the mirror. I expected to see a horribly disfigured face but I saw egg and eggshells. I wiped it with my hand and felt incredible relief. I also felt incredibly stupid, but so what, right? I spent the next hour cleaning egg off the ceiling, the walls, the floor etc. My face was red for a couple days. 5.) From yosoycory: In elementary school, we had a program called D.A.R.E. where a police officer would come into our class and teach us about the dangers of substance and alcohol abuse. At the end of the year, he prompted us to write an essay about what we learned over the course of the year in D.A.R.E. He also advised us that the author of the best essay in the class would receive a stuffed lion, appropriately named Darren. Now I really wanted this lion, but the problem with that was my writing skills were those of a typical third grader. There was no way that anything I wrote about my time in D.A.R.E. would stand out enough from my fellow classmates to win Darren. So I did what any desperate 10 year old would do... Googled "D.A.R.E. essay contest winners," and then plagiarized the first one that came up in my searches. Now this was done diligently, carefully proofreading to ensure that I wasn't going to turn in an essay with somebody else's name in it somewhere. I went through and changed phrasing or a word here and there, but by no means would it pass through turnitin. com with less than 90% plagiarized. Confident in my chances of winning Darren, I turned in the essay to Mr. Officer, and what do you know?! A week later we had our end of year reception, at the municipal building which also contained the police station. He listed the top three essays, third place, second place, and then he said holding Darren, "The best D.A.R.E. essay submitted this year was written by yosoycory! Come on up here, get your Darren stuffed animal, and read your essay to us please." I was so excited I won the animal it was never even a thought that crossed my mind that I would have to deliver this speech. So I reluctantly walked up, took my stuffed animal, and all I can remember at this point is shaking so bad, it looked like I was going to fall over at the mic. All of my classmates, all of their parents, and the entire local municipality's worth of police officers with their full attention on me, a 10 year old little fraud of a student. To this day, it's one of my most shameful moments, and I still have Darren sitting on my desk for discouragement from copying other's work. 6.) From princesspussypie: found an online profile of someone in another country. On a whim, decided to go on vacation together. Didn't do any communication other than email, got on 24h worth of flights, met up and paddled off that day. We spent 26 days canoeing from the tundra to the arctic and didn't see anyone else the whole time. 7.) From Hollyhockcolorado: My mom probably has factitious disorder. She used to gather my siblings and I together to "announce" she has "insert cancer or deadly disease here" and then make us cry and hug her. She has ruined so many of my major life events to rant about herself and all of her illnesses. I haven't called to check in on her with everything that is going on because I do not want to hear her hours long spew of disease and sickness because I always think she is lying. She may actually be at serious risk of death from Covid-19 and I still don't want to hear her talk about it. She could die and I think I would feel relief. 8.) From Bandannab93: I grew up in a very conservative household, sex was never talked about at all, and you knew if you got caught with something you shouldn't you'd be in giant trouble. When I was seventeen I bought a vibrator (I had literally no experience, even alone, but was super curious). The way it worked was you had to screw the bottom off it onto keep the batteries in and to turn it on. I put it underneath my bed, and thought I had it unscrewed enough that it would stay off until later. Well, I'm downstairs listening to a CD player with my headphones on, and suddenly I hear my two young sisters yelling about something and running around the house. I take my headphones off and I hear 'BZZZZZZ', echoing through the house. My room was directly above the living room, and my floor was wooden. They're feeling out, thinking there's a wasp in the house or something electrical is about to explode. Thank God my parents weren't home, they probably would have figured it out a lot easier. One sister runs upstairs, realizes it's coming from my room, and I dash ahead of her and just throw myself over the bed to feel underneath it. I turn off the vibrator and then tell them my old phone was under there and must have had an alarm on it (which made no sense, it'd been months since I changed phones). They don't believe me and think it must be the pipes under my room. They tell my parents when they get home that 'the pipes freaked out'. My family listens closely for MONTHS to see if we need to call a plumber. I decided to take my terrible secret to the grave, and then ten years later post it on reddit. The end. 9.) From 0ldGeezer: My father seldom spoke of his wartime experiences. I’ve only heard two direct stories from his mouth. He once recounted how his brother (they fought together) was shot and later died from infection. The other memory was of his desertion. During a battle, he hurt his wrist from falling and sat there in the mud, wincing in pain and catching his breath. As he peered out, seeing all the death and destruction, he was suddenly hit with an intense feeling of futility. And not just mere futility, but he realized also the absurdity of it all. “I got up and just walked away,” he said, “leaving my weapon right there on the ground.” He disappeared into the surrounding woods, somehow managing to get back home, which was nearly 300 miles away. “Weren’t you worried about getting in trouble?” I asked in all my childlike innocence. He explained that things were desperate by the time he entered the war. He was underage, so he lied about his name and age in order to “enlist.” He received little to no training and was immediately thrust into action. “They had nothing on me,” he said. “I enlisted with little more than a handshake.” Although he was ineligible to receive a pension because of his false and/or lacking records, I’m under the impression he never would’ve accepted such. He was ashamed of that part of history and developed a profound distaste for government. This story was kept pretty hushed in our family as we didn’t want the surrounding community to know of his desertion and label him a coward. I, however, always admired him for doing what he did. 10.) From JGT420: I moved to the UK from zimbabwe when I was 4. The first few years my parents spent their whole time trying to settle down, by the time I was 8 they realised we had never been to london. So on a hot june day we went into london. We went to the aquarium, Covent garden to see all the performers, on the london eye, it was a good day. To end the day we went to buckingham palace, I was tired so I was resting my head against the bars asking all the questions youd expect from an 8 year old. After a while my parents said it was time to go, i pushed away from the bars and then felt the cold steel against the back of my ears. I hadn't noticed my head has slipped through. I panicked, a crowd gathered (I'm probably in many a family photo album) even a horse guard came to see what the commission was about.Bet he wasnt expecting a child with his head stuck. By then I had accepted this as my new home, but I couldn't figure out how I'd go to sleep with a spike on the floor. Luckily an old lady had a tub of vaseline in her handbag and my dad was able to pull me out with my head smothered in vaseline. 11.) From Why-Me-God: When I was in kindergarten I fell asleep on the bus to school. No one woke me up. I wake up eventually and the bus is empty. I panic, as any 5 year old does, and run to the front of the bus and try the door. It’s locked. It was parked in a kfc parking lot, so people were coming in and out of the building. I started wailing with terror, banging on the glass doors, snot pouring down my face and into my mouth as people walk by and point at me. They mumbled and got Into their car and left. By the time the bus driver finally came back out with her chicken meal, the entire door was covered in my slobber and tears. She instructed me how to open the closed door so she didn’t have to put her meal down. I was still freaking out obviously and didn’t understand. So she SIGHED, put her food down and finally opened the door and asked me what was I doing there?!? She called the school and drove me there, still covered in snot. I remember walking into my class with everyone standing in a line and hugging me one at a time. After that day, they made a rule for all bus drivers to get up and walk the bus front to back to make sure no kids get left sleeping. 12.) From Jerryfizzlepop: When I was about fourteen I found a slingshot in the woods. It was a pretty good slingshot that must have cost a fair bit as it had a metal frame and a thick rubber sling. One day my friend and I were on top of a hill out in the countryside and a jogger came running out of the nearby treeline. He was some distance away and below us. Without putting a lot of thought into it I shot a stone just above his head. The rock went exactly where I wanted it to, but if there was wind, or my aim was off, or a thousand other factors, I would have seriously f*cked that jogger up. I muse on that at least once a week. I never see my friend and we haven't spoken about it since it happened. 13.) From theothergirlonreddit: 2014- It was my first night in college, my roommates (strangers) didn't show up. We lived in a 3 story apartment complex, with 4 apartments each level in a "freshman" building. Well the neighbors are partying and I get out of my comfort zone and walk outside. Outside, some guys are drinking and one of the guys invites me in to party and so begins my college experience. Lo and behold, I get wasted just like many of the others. I head back to my apartment on the same level and the party has moved slightly to my apartment, but there are just like 6 people there. I start asking people to leave as I'm going to bed, but I'm so drunk, I know I don't care if they stay or go. I go to my room and there is a guy crashed in it. I tell him he doesn't need to leave, but please move over and he does. I wake up and freak out because I have a boyfriend. I check to make sure we didn't have sex. "No, but you came into my apartment asking everyone to leave and told me I could stay in your bed and hopped in." Confused, I ask him to clarify. "Dude, this isn't your apartment." Took about 30 seconds to realize I just arrived at the wrong apartment and slept in a stranger's bed, my first night in college. 🤦&zwj;♀️ 14.) From zebbojojo: The time my mum needed to go back into the house to get a scarf. Because of this we were held back and missed a bus by 10 seconds. That bus then crashed into a bridge at very high speed because the bus driver had mental health problems. It is the closest I have ever been to death. I will never complain about my mum going back to get a scarf in my life again. 15.) From gravitr0n: The night my son was born, my wife lost a lot of blood. In an instant, our delivery room was filled with 25 medical personnel after a 'rapid response' call. My wife was white as a ghost and hardly coherent. I stood beside her holding her hand while she received emergency blood and plasma and platelets. I was in total shock in the moment, until my wife locked eyes with me and asked 'am I dying?'. I lost it. I'm losing it now typing this... it was the scariest moment of my entire life and I really have trouble reliving it. 8 months later, wife and baby are happy and healthy. Give birth in hospitals! You never know what can go wrong and the staff there saved her life that night. 16.) From Nanjero76: Back when I was in highschool, I wanted to approach this girl on a bus on my way to school. She was really hot and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't approach her. There was one big problem: there was a middle-aged lady seated next to her and I couldn't talk to this girl with the lady right next to her. I had to think of a quick way to get rid of the lady. I then woke up from my seat, slowly walked to the row they were seated and calmly asked the lady "excuse me ma'am could you please let me sit next to my sister?" Turns out the lady was the girl's mom. 17.) From PraetorOfSilence: I nearly died at work. I was removing the main supply (200V, 3P) wire on the machine we just successfully overhauled. The problem is, I wasn't aware that the main circuit breaker was still turned on. I already had the gut feeling to check the breaker, but I was stubborn and proceed to remove the wires. As I removed the second wire, I accidentally short circuited it, creating a huge spark right in front of my eyes. First thing I did was to check my hand, which was thankfully unharmed but had visible dark spots due to the strong electric current on the short circuiting of the wires. Good thing I was half conscious and went on to turn off the main circuit breaker. Some of my work mates saw and approached me while asking if everything was alright. After removing the wire, I took a walk and had a deep thought what might happened to me if those wires touched me. I might have suffered a severe third degree burn, or lose a limb, or died from electrocution. Folks, always be careful and always trust your gut feeling. 18.) From UnderTails63: In 6th grade one night I was like, I really don’t feel like going to school tomorrow, so I looked up how to get a fever... I found a tutorial that said to take a bath at the hottest temperature your bathtub will go, and then stay up all night. I decided to try it and I started the water for a steaming hot bath. It stung to get in it, and I somehow survived it for 30 minutes, when I was getting out I felt dizzy and then... I fell on the floor and had a seizure... I woke up and saw the blinding ceiling lights of the bathroom and the first thing I thought was ,”Am I dead?” And then I threw up in the toilet next to me and had a migraine for the night. And later found out I got 1st degree burns. So long story short, don’t do that. 19.) From SquabOnAStick: 6 years ago, I was in Svalbard. Walking to my accommodation out of town with shopping in light snow(mid winter), little visibility. A guy on a snowmobile drives up behind me, and asked where my gun was - they suggest you always have one for polar bears. I didnt have one, and he was like, you crazy! Get on the snowmobile, theres a polar bear in town! So I did, shopping bags and all. Lucky me! 20.) From stopstaringatmeswan4: I keep my sex life private irl, so I have never told anyone about the one and only time I had sex in public, and subsequently the one and only time I got caught having sex. By someone in an airplane. My bf and I were out at the deserted quarry on the edge of town and we were going at it when a little 2 seater plane flew overhead. The plane then proceeded to turn around and fly over us again, this time dipping (wiggling?) its wings when it was overhead. 21.) From Wrong_Answer_Willie: around 42 years ago, my little brother was playing with matches and set the woods on fire, burned about 10 acres. everyone assumed that it was me smoking in the woods so he and I just let it be me. I took the blame (and the ass whooping) because Dad was kinda rough on the ass whoopings when he was mad. and I didn't want my little brother to have to take it. Being that Dad got a little carried away this time (broke my arm) we've just never told anyone the truth. 22.) From HexagonPenis: In 6th grade, we had this paper we had to write, I forget what the subject was. I decided to procrastinate a lot. Then the day it was due rolled around, and I had nothing. We had to read our papers out loud in front of the class. I was totally prepared to take the zero, but then I realized he wasnt actually taking the papers we used. So I decided to go up to the front of the class with a blank sheet of paper, and improvise. I ended up getting an 80. 23.) From PryzeTheBest: I haven’t been able to really tell this story since it’s so strange. When I was a night shift CNA at a assisted living I had a resident have a wild week. When I was doing my rounds at midnight she came barreling out of her room with her cross and white as a ghost. I asked if she had a nightmare and she responded “there is a man in my room telling me to get out of his room” I peeked inside her room and saw it was empty. I was still internally set on her dreaming. She walked around with me most of that night. The next night was even more bizarre. I have a pager that lets me know if any residents need help or if any doors are opened. Well it’s 2am and the front door alarm goes off. That freaked me out since all the doors were locked. As I head up to the front to investigate I see that resident with the door wide open and looking up at the sky. I asked her what she was doing and she replied “Death is coming for X I have to let him in” For days she kept talking about the angry man in her room. How he kept her up, he yelled at her, and threw things on the floor. My curiosity got the best of me. “X, what does the man look like” as she described him my heart sank.... she was perfectly describing a resident who lived in the room previously who passed away (he didn’t like ANYONE in his room). “Did he ever tell you his name?” I asked she looked at me “it’s X” (his name) I asked the other workers if anyone mentioned anything about that resident. All have denied. She was moved to another room 2 days later after her family was very concerned for her wellbeing. Her night mares have since stopped. Another resident has moved into the room and hasn’t had any problems. I’ve had bizarre things happen to me working at that facility, but nothing has topped that one. 24.) From theprinterdoesntwerk: When I was 17, I worked at a grocery store with a guy named Brian. Normal guy, mid 20s, lil chub. Didn't really think much of him. One day he tells me about how he lives in an apartment by himself and that his neighbours are absolutely crazy. Like they would yell at him to be quiet, pound against the wall to get him to shut up, even though he wouldn't be doing anything. He would sneeze, and his neighbours would scream at the top of their lungs from next door. It was that bad. Tbh, I didn't really care much when he was telling me this. I just wanted to go home and not work anymore. Couple days go by and I noticed that Brian wasn't showing up anymore. Whatever. Didn't think much of that either. A month or two goes by and he finally shows back up to work. So, being the nice friend I am, I asked him where he's been. He tells me he was actually fired because he was in the hospital. I didn't think that was a valid reason to fire someone, but what do I know. I didn't comment on that. I asked him why he was in the hospital and he told me it was for "personal reasons". I tell him it was good having him back, and carried on with my day. Fast forward a couple days to me talking to another coworker who was good friends with Brian. He says "Did you hear what happened to Brian?" "Yeah he was in the hospital and was fired or something" "Do you know why though?" "No, he said it was personal" So this is what happened a couple months ago before Brian disappeared. He was at home by himself, when his neighbours (surprise) start yelling at him through the walls for being too loud. Brian telling himself "I've had enough" decides to call the police and have them deal with it. The police arrived and started talking to the neighbours for quite some time. Hours go by with the police and neighbours. So he calls the police again to ask what's taking so long. The police respond with "..um.. We left like an hour and a half ago." Turns out that the neighbours were never yelling at him. In fact, they were never there. Brian was schizophrenic and was hearing voices in his head. He had to go to a mental hospital for a month. 25.) From HDSQ: One time I accidentally posted a highly NSFW copypasta on a Facebook group that I thought was private and all my friends were notified since I didn't make an alt account. Months later I still avoid the subject whenever people try to bring it up.