Yes, this article is about walk of shame stories. But from here on out, I'm going to refer to the walk of shame as the stride of pride. Because it's 2017, sex-positivity is a thing, and it's never okay to shame someone for their sexual choices!!!
And as proved by How I Met Your Mother, strides of pride are even better on the morning after Halloween, because the striders are often in costume.
This morning, a.k.a. the morning after Halloween, a Redditor posed the following query: "What's your best walk of shame story?" And because today is the day after Halloween, a lot of the responses are about times people strode their prode in costume.
Behold, 10 of the funniest replies about Halloween morning-afters.
1. Batteries69 rocked a Mario look across campus...this morning.
Today, I walked through my college campus wearing nothing but overalls cut off mid shin and a Mario hat in the rain.
I went out to a Halloween party as Mario, ended up at a friends house throwing up in his sink. Woke up with no idea where the rest of my clothes went but knew I had to get to my dorm, a mile away, to get dressed for class. Unfortunately, I made this walk in between classes so plenty of students saw a defeated Mario.
2. Gregdoom met his match while striding his pride.
A couple Halloweens ago, I went out with a lovely lady to a party. I went as Agent Venom from Spider-Man. We hooked up and she let me crash at her place, which actually was not supposed to happen, so morning rolls around and I realize that I have no change of clothes. Fuck. So, I basically say “screw it” put my costume back on (sans the mask) and walk to my car. On the way to my car, I see a dude around my age in a Spider-Man outfit walking towards me. He starts to say something and I just say “can it, Parker! I’m busy!” and we laughed, but I kept walking to my car. Got in, and drove home. The end.
Edit: I sadly only have one pic of the aforementioned costume, but here it is.
3. Fauxxfoxx certainly spiced things up on football Saturday.
Well there was that one time I dressed as Catwoman for Halloween, which was a Friday, slept at a friend's, then had to walk of shame back to my dorm on a football Saturday. I went to a Big 10 school, so there were a LOT of people out and about.
4. For Slapzgiving (evidently a How I Met Your Mother Fan), it was totally worth destroying his bubble wrap...and his body.
In college I went to a Halloween party dressed as one of the Zoltan guys from Dude Where's My Car? (basically shorts, wife beater and a bubble wrap jump suit). I ended up hooking up with a girl a couple blocks from my house. Now, in order to get said hookup done we had to destroy the bubble wrap suit =(...I know. She also happened to be a terrible scratcher. So the next morning afternoon I'm walking down the main drag toward my house near campus in shorts, a wife beater LITERALLY covered in blood down the back, and carrying about 3 pounds of bubble wrap in 30 degree weather. I ended up getting a couple rounds of applause from neighboring houses accompanied by some beers!
5. Everyone thought georgecuzstanza was doing a stride of pride...but she actually just put her costume on super early in the morning.
This isn’t a real walk of shame but boy did people laugh and point.
I was in school (as an adult) and we got to, for one day, forgo our uniform and wear a Halloween costume. Class was at 8am on a Saturday and I got up, dressed and headed to get a bagel. I looked like I was doing the walk of shame from the night before while wearing this black mini dress and cat ears. The whispering behind my back was out of control and I felt quite embarrassed. Got gas down the road, same thing “hey, fun night” “someone had a good time last night”.
6. Belmer321 didn't realize there was a tiny costume drawn on their forehead.
In college, woke up the next day after a party across campus. Walked back to my house. Voting was a thing that day, lots of students out encouraging to vote. I walked into a campus building, interacted with lots of people, voted and left.
Got home to realize a big dick drawn in sharpie on my forehead.
Was wondering why people were looking at me funny.
7. Things got pretty wild at an old people-themed party Eslov attended.
I was at a party where everyone dressed up as old people. I had a white wig and everything. At one point I traded my pants for bathrobe because why not.
At the after-party someone had popped a big moving-box worth of popcorn. Because of that I'm never sensible enough to to stop partying I was the last one to go to bed at that party I slept in the box of popcorn.
It looked a little weird the next day on the bus ride home when a guy without pants dressed as a an old man with popcorn everywhere was trying to survive a hangover.
I think it looked like I was a confused old man that had escaped from the old folks home.
My best friend had to walk 3/4 of a mile across campus during accepted students visit weekend while dressed as a period (red dress, red tights, poofy red hat, poofy red scarf, fake blood all over his face and exposed skin). Why the school scheduled the accepted students weekend the same weekend as the annual Shock Your Mom, I have no idea.
9. LaserBeamsCattleProd witnessed a young witch on her way to a minivan ride of pride.
Not me. But one morning in my city, the day after Halloween, I saw a girl walking down an alley with someone who had to be her mom. I know it was a walk of shame because she had a witch outfit on with 6 inch heels, wobbling around on a brick road. The mom was a shorter, conservatively dressed, annoyed looking mama, helping her balance. A short walk of shame to a minivan ride of shame. Brutal!
10. And finally, Smiling_Aku not only had to walk home in his moose costume...but take an exam wearing it, too.
Was at an animal themed mixer one Thursday night, with a test the next morning so I was mostly just hanging out talking. One thing leads to another and I end up going home with this girl, waking up ten minutes before my 9 a.m. test and walking across campus reeking of sex in a moose costume to take it.