Or kiss me, just don't do it in direct sunlight, please.

It's St. Patrick's Day, that special time of year when 34.5 million Irish-Americans and 280 million non-Irish Americans come together to make the Irish look like the drunken barbarians people tried to claim they were when they wanted to exclude them. Oftentimes, they do this while wearing fun t-shirts printed with "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" and other well-known slogans. But these shirts have become so cliché that they don't even mean anything anymore. So we've revamped the St. Paddy's Day classics with slogans that more accurately reflect the Irish experience in 2014. Enjoy.