10. Lt. John Pike

Yes he can look super-lackadaisical while burning the eyeballs out of people for loitering, but that doesn't mean he'll make for a chill dinner guest. If you thought your Uncle Rick was a reactionary when you suggested that maybe hypothetically Obama wasn't a remote-controlled robot invented by the Kenyan Socialist Party, wait until John Pike comes in to watch the game and decides you've been hogging the recliner too long.