by Dan Abromowitz

After the very first pilgrims enjoyed their very first Thanksgiving, they laid down in the Mayflower Charter that every subsequent Thanksgiving dinner must include a part where everyone goes around the table to say what they're thankful for. Today, this tradition gives everyone at the table an opportunity to bury sanctimony, backhanded digs, and hidden messages under the guise of good earnest thankfulness. Here's how to convey whatever you might want to when it's your turn to give thanks: