Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.

Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.
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Welcome to "Mezzanine Seating," a new concept just patented by commercial aircraft manufacturer Airbus, perhaps as a threat to the sky-going population that we complain too much about planes and it could always be worse. Amazingly, this may be worse than when airline seat manufacturers menaced us with honey-combed face-to-face seating.

Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.
The blonde guy on top looks like he's really enjoying looking at everyone's heads.
US Patent Office

Although some are saying that the geometry of this plan would actually improve legroom while increasing the carrying capacity of the plane, in our guts we look at this and we know it is bad. Call us old-fashioned, but putting a line of butts in front of a line of faces is just not the start to a pleasant journey.

Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.
This would be business class. Notice the person in #12 and #18 somehow ends up on the floor on a third row.
US Patent Office

There are several possible variations, of course, because nothing teaches you that humanity comes in 2-3 distinct and separated flavors better than air travel. The business class stacks unfurl all the way, allowing business travelers to pretend they are back at business camp, whispering to each other after the flight attendant turns out the lights.

Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.
I assume they just hoped no one would look too closely at the way the seat is shaped right under the sitting guy.
US Patent Office
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In the hot, sweaty hive that is coach, drones crawl over each other to enter their honeycomb chamber. The hive designs have a hanging foot gap that begs passengers on the upper level to trip and fall into the aisle, which can unfold into a deck-chair shape for sleeping fliers to fall from.

Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.
That's the same guy who was coming back from the bathroom before, but he got rid of the other passenger.
US Patent Office

The diagram shows no more than two next to each other but one should know better than to trust airlines to leave space between seats. Chairs do not recline fully in coach.

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Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.
You've always wanted to get a really good look at the airplane ceiling, right?
US Patent Office

Oh well, at least they didn't also patent a version where you have to face other passengers, right?

Airbus designs stacked seating arrangement just to prove they can cram more of us in there.
You're sick people. Their feet are alternating! And what is that line going through the left one's sternum?

Fortunately, we can also trust Airbus to probably not do this. It files about 600 patents a year to "protect its intellectual property" aka "stop anyone else from inventing plane-related stuff." So, as long as we don't complain too much about the gigantic A380 or any of Airbus's other planes, we can probably rest assured that Mezzanine Seating remains, like nuclear weapons, merely a threat.

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