The internet may cause a lot of problems. But it also really good at helping you solve them. Before Google.com, there was Altavista.com and AskJeeves.com. But before that, if you can even imagine a time that long ago, when we needed to find answers to questions, we had to actually (a) find another human being and ask them, (b) go to a library, or (c) choose to live in ignorance.
Fortunately, those dark days are long behind us. And the internet is always there when we need answers to literally any question. There's actually a whole Reddit page devoted to people asking the internet to help them identify random found objects. Here are twenty examples, including our best guess, which was almost always wrong. Thank you, internet, for setting us straight!
1. "Green alien thing that grew on my band aid." Guess: alien poop.
Answer, c/o PantsuitNixon:
My guess, as a former R&D director at an OTC drug lab, is that the acrylate in the adhesive has absorbed too much ambient moisture over the last five years (or has been exposed to higher-than-usual temperatures and lower-than-usual humidity) and is precipitating out of the adhesive solution that keeps a bandaid stuck to your skin. The green is likely a result of that precipitation leaching some component of the bandage color that's green at the right pH. These both explain the uniformity of color and crystallization, but since medical devices like bandages don't require ingredient lists on their packaging, I can't say what it might be specifically.
If stored in a stable, dry environment at a comfortable temperature, bandages will last for eternity. But they aren't manufactured to withstand temperature and humidity fluctuations over long periods of time. The standard stability testing aims for a two-year shelf life on just about anything you can buy at a pharmacy (exceptions being products that don't degrade at all, like epsom salts).
Edit: Or they're sprinkles.
Edit: leeching to leaching
2. "What is this demonic looking creature?" Guess: extremely horny moth.
3. "What is this? Found it by my toaster. Please don't tell me it's some kind of cockroach molt." Guess: overcooked toaster strudel.
4. This was "found lying on the floor of server room." Guess: toy missle.
5. "Found in my dads toolbox, no idea what they are (he's a carpenter)."
Guess: uhh, screws?
6. "Security camera recorded this guy knocking on my door late at night. What is this in his hand?" Guess: walkie talkie?
Answer, via explohd:
It may be a ham radio operator looking for a source of interference. He may have tracked the source of interference to your house or a nearby neighbor. One of your electrical devices may be producing a lot of radio interference for some reason and he's interested in stopping that interference. Every electronic device should not be producing radio interference, but if it is there may be a problem or fault with it that you may be unaware of.
Edit- u/AnticitizenPrime has suggested that it may be a FCC contractor sent to find a source of interference. I'm not sure about the time so I'm not going to speculate as to why they may be there so late in the evening.
Also, there is no better time than now to get your amateur radio license. Start out with a technician class license and move on up as you learn more.
7. "What is this rodent that just climbed out of my toilet???" Guess: toilet mouse?
Answer, via happyrock:
the flat tail makes me want to say flying squirrel. they're super common in the NE but nocturnal so folks don't realize they are around. Also has pretty huge eyes for a rodent that size. Pull his legs apart and see if he has flaps I guess. They also have more of a 'rat' outline/ hind end than a grey which matches your little buddy. An adult grey would also have gnarly claws, bigger feet. I'm @ like 80% flying squirrel. https://goo.gl/images/zrWR4k
Poor guy. Hope he found his wings again.
8. "Found on the bank of Ohio River, what is this thing?" Guess: antique butt plug.
Answer, via spargelkol:
The first "rectal dilators" were patented in 1892 by Dr. Young. And they look just like this.
9. "Weird Fish Found In Garden After Storm" Guess: Nemo's evil twin.
10. "I found this thing in my food. It was just stuck to a piece of meat; it wasn't lodged into it or anything. Anyone know what it is?" Guess: new club drug.
Answer via b_Eridanus:
cattle/pig microchip for meat traceability, i'd say. http://www.agriexpo.online/prod/i-d-ology/product-173571-52418.html
These really aren't supposed to get into food. If you're at a restaurant, I'd complain to the manager. If you bought the meat and cooked it yourself, I'd contact the purveyor.
If I wasn't already vegetarian, I'd be one now!
11. "Found on a remote beach in the Bahamas. Is this a part of a plane or a boat?" Guess: it's a BOAT-PLANE.
Answer, via nmk456:
/u/abod02 in /r/SpaceXLounge said it is a Delta IV fairing. If you look at this image, the groups of 4 holes exactly match those on the pictures. Also, the many holes in the bottom and the sides match those in this picture.
Still standing by "boat-plane."
12. "Found this under a cupboard, what is it?!" Guess: lmfao it's obviously a weed grinder. Did my mom post this?
Answer: it's a "spice" grinder. Sure, just regular old spices, like cumin and coriander. Okay. Got it.
(IT IS FOR WEED THOUGH)
13. "Saw on my flight to cali, no idea how to google it." Guess: grounded U.F.O.
Answer, via Red_Icnivad:
Specifically, this looks like Concentrated Thermal Solar. It uses mirrors to reflect the light to a central tower which is barely visible in your picture due to the glare coming off of it. The light is then converted to heat where it drives a steam turbine, or some other heat engine.
What's even cooler than a U.F.O.? SOLAR POWER.
14. "Found in airbnb. Thought it was an air freshener but looks to be a camera? Had tissue over it." Guess: your AirBnB host is spying on you, buddy.
Answer, via flop-flop-flop:
It's part of a Verisure security package, as seen on this page
And confirmed by h0tdawg:
Yes, have the similar system at my home. It's a camera with an IR tracker. It won't take pictures or record if the alarm isn't set off. Or so the Verisure-guys told me.
15. "What are these things and what are they doing?" Guess: they are slugs and they are cuddling.
Answer (drum roll, please):
16.) "My grandfather left me this after he passed. It is a wooden block with this on top of it." Guess: old-school calculator.
Answer, via Thumbs0fDestiny:
Looks like a reusable scorecard.
Possibly for pinochle like this one
And today I learned what PINOCHLE is.
17) "I found this under the floor boards in a 1800's era house." Guess: weapon of penile destruction.
Only mildly disappointed.
18.) "What in the absolute f*** is ON MY CAR." Guess: funky hood ornament from Etsy.
That was tooooooootally my next guess.
19.) "This UFO looking thing on a truck." Guess: a UFO on a truck, on its way to an unknown government facility where it will be destroyed.
Answer, via fattyac1d:
Obviously, this last answer is a blatant lie.
But with that exception, thank you to the internet for helping us when we can't help ourselves—which, tbh, is most of the time.