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Valentine's Day is this Friday – you heard? – and we've all got choices to make. The coupled among us have to choose which prix fixe dinner that they'll convince themselves is worth $45 per person to have, and what holes to do sex into. Meanwhile, we single folks once again have to decide which form of temporary psychosis will best carry us through those particularly loveless 24 hours. Here are a few of the most tried-and-true paths through the valley of Valentine's: