An honest guide to the meanings of the flowers you're giving or receiving today.

An honest guide to the meanings of the flowers you're giving or receiving today.
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An honest guide to the meanings of the flowers you're giving or receiving today.

Tulips, unfortunately, mean "I have chlamydia."

While the notion seems charmingly antiquated today, there was a time when the selection of flowers for a lover or friend had a meaning beyond just getting whatever didn’t look too cheap. But these days on Valentine’s Day, all flowers are chosen to convey the same thing: I would like to exchange this bouquet for sexual intercourse. Keep in mind that daisies signify “I’ll settle for a hand job,” while a large bouquet sent to someone's office can seem a little desperate.

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