Advertising - This is the perfect night to troll the city for undatable alcoholics - The best part of being my own date for Valentine's Day is knowing I'm guaranteed to score. - I wish they could manufacture a holiday that didn't point out my inability to commit. - The only way I could be lonelier today is if the Internet stopped working - I'd love to not hear all about your Valentine's Day - My Valentine runs on batteries. - Join me for a girls' night this Valentine's Day to celebrate our independence before we drunk text our exes and quietly sob ourselves to sleep