5 people who totally ruined this week for us.

5 people who totally ruined this week for us.
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(via Wikipedia)

5. The men who attacked Michael Bay, stalling his work on 'Transformers 4.' Director and national treasure Michael Bay was attacked last night by men who don't care about finding out how the loose ends from Transformers 3 are tied up in Transformers 4. Bay was in the midst of working on the hotly anticipated action film when a group of street vendors began to complain they weren't being compensated enough for their business being interrupted by filming. Bay told them to get lost, and one of them threw an air conditioner at him. Bay faked left, then dove right, as a series of cars (probably) exploded in the background. "Seems like you're the one who needs to cool off," he muttered, as he and 15 Hong Kong cops subdued the attackers. All in a day's work. —SRD

 
 
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(via Salon)

4. Mick Mulvaney, the dumbshit Congressman who thought funding the government meant funding Ugandan war criminal Joseph Kony. This week, the shutdown ended in a bipartisan deal to raise the debt limit and fund the government for a few more months until the next fight. Mick Mulvaney, Republican of South Carolina, wasn't going for it, and he had a very good reason: he didn't want to fund child-soldier-using, crimes-against-humanity-committing Joseph Kony of Uganda, or his Lord's Resistance Army. If that were true, shutting the government down would be the only moral choice. Unsurprisingly, it is not true. In fact, it is the exact opposite: that money is the $4.5 million a month the nation has spent since October 2011 on a Special Forces training and assistance mission to help Uganda defeat Kony and the LRA. But if you think stopping poor people from getting healthcare is more important than stopping child slavery and war crimes, I understand you are a person of horrible principles. Mulvaney has since deleted, but not admitted, his error. By the way, his other complaints in that paragraph? Flooding assistance for Colorado and money for dams in Kentucky. —JMC

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(via USAToday)

3. A federal air marshal who got caught taking photos up ladies' skirts. 28-year-old Adam J. Bartsch may have been subtle about his job as a federal air marshal, but he was not subtle enough about his love of taking photos of women's skirts as they boarded a flight in Nashville. While it's possible Bartsch simply wanted to make sure there weren't any weapons concealed up there—sorry, no it's not. He's clearly a creep. Bartsch was released on $10,000 bond last night, but got an equal number of upvotes in r/CreepShots. —SRD

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(file photo so you know what a cat looks like)

2. Guards who stopped a cat that was just trying to do his job. A cat in Moldova who was delivering cannabis to prisoners in a Pruncul village jail (like you do) was captured this week by guards. The cat, who didn't smoke himself but was cool with whatever, wore a collar around its neck that contained the drugs, and would regularly crawl through a hole in the fence (that presumably wasn't big enough for a human) to deliver the goods. When asked to comment, the cat was like, "You want to get high?" And I was all, "No, I just wanted to ask you about your experiences delivering drugs to Moldovan prisoners," and the cat was like, "Okay good, because I got to lay low for a while." —SRD

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(via lucky bastard @sonicdork)

1. Paul McCartney, because he keeps holding impromptu street concerts when I'm not around. The last living Beatle who matters has been traveling around holding impromptu concerts on the street because he's fucking Paul McCartney and he can do whatever the hell he wants to do. After announcing concerts in New York and London on Twitter a few hours in advance, Paul shows up and does his thing, without a care in the world as to whether I could get there in time. Even though he's 71 and isn't going to live forever, Sir Paul seems completely unphased by the prospect that I will never see him perform live, specifically spontaneously and for free. Whatever. "Ebony & Ivory" sucks. —SRD

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