16 horrific yard sale items that'll make you grateful your own neighbors are pretty normal.

16 horrific yard sale items that'll make you grateful your own neighbors are pretty normal.

The next time you see a sign like this...

Hopefully he was a douche because he bought a lot of really cool stuff they didn't need.

...make sure to stop, because you never know what terrible things you can find out about your neighbors just by digging through their trash sellable items. Below are 16 things that humans never should put in yard sales, but totally did.

1. This totally legal and non-dangerous medical treasure chest.

This is a great find for any junkie who trusts everything is correctly labeled.

2. This phone that may or may not contain boobs.

Life is like a phone at a yard sale: you never know what you're gonna get.

3. These accurately described boxes.

What do we want? Boxes with numerous holes drilled in 'em! When do we want them? Probably never!

4. This completely suspicious box of free stuff.

Great for the aspiring meth lab cook in your life!

5. All the lubes these people decided they could part with.

Never show up to a yard orgy empty-handed.

6. This dog costume that is definitely worth a second look.

It's not about the size of the tail, its about the wag in the dog.

7. This couch free to a good asshole.

Good odds there is a man playing video games on the ground inside that house.

8. These pews that were definitely not stolen from a church.

Pew! Pew! Pew!

9. These terrifying looking Dutch dolls (and also those used dildos).

Let's call the red one the "devil's tongue."

10. This... uh... just this.

Pretty sure this didn't become legal again.

11. This gem found in a box of books.

You're never too young to learn to "f-ap."

12. This box that is perfect for holding all of your dead bodies.*

*Dead bodies sold separately.

13. This doll that was probably being sold by Rachel Dolezal.

Oh god it's awful make it stop.

14. These darts depicting the least-studied dinosaur from the your-ass-ic period.

To be fair, you should see the tips.

15. These evil creatures that were probably separated from a much larger collection.

Don't slow down, just keep moving don't make eye contact oh god they've got you.

16. And finally, these glasses. Give them as a gift to your wife to find out if she really loves you.

Warning: may cause divorce.