5 people having a worse Monday than you.

5 people having a worse Monday than you.
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5 people having a worse Monday than you.

(via Weather.com)

5. Anyone in the Midwest. If you never really liked your minor appendages, you're in luck, because the weather out there is frost-bitingly frightful. Obviously, the folks in the Midwest are bearing the brunt of this week's polar vortex. But those of us here in the Northeast actually have it much worse. Every time we complain about how cold it is, someone's going to say: "At least you're not in Minnesota." Shut up, someone! It's not our fault people think the Midwest is a habitable part of the country. Don't worry, I'll be doing my part by continuing to loudly complain about the weather in New York. —SRD

 

4. Melissa Harris-Perry. In case you missed it, MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry has been experiencing a partly media-generated backlash after her show featured a segment that included jokes about Mitt Romney's adopted African-American grandson Kieran. The jokes themselves were pretty mild (you can watch the segment yourself above), but the ensuing calls for Harris-Perry to apologize and/or be fired were anything but. Mind you, many of the same people calling for Harris-Perry to be punished only recently defended Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson's right to say that black people were happier as slaves. (But of course that was an "opinion," while this is a show of "prejudice.") Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, this repetitive, pointless cycle—offhand/stupid/insensitive remark, angry complaints, calls for an apology, an apology, complaints about the apology—needs to end. There's a difference between constructive debate and demonizing people just because we can. Hats off to comedian Natasha Leggero for refusing to take the bait. —SRD

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5 people having a worse Monday than you.

(via Utah.gov)

3. Same-sex marriage advocates in Utah. A federal district court judge picked a heckuva battleground when they overturned a ban on gay marriage in Utah, citing the Supreme Court's summer decision ruling that the Defense of Marriage Act discriminated against same-sex couples, and overturning Proposition 8 in California. Since then, 900 couples have wed in Utah. That decision (unsurprisingly for conservative Utah) has been appealed, and Justice Sonia Sotomayor has ordered that no new same-sex marriages be performed until a decision has been reached. Sotomayor has become the go-to Justice for temporary religious leniency this week, after shielding nuns from having to provide birth control in their insurance plans until the Court rules on the latest Obamacare suit. It's still great that 900 couples made it to the altar, but hopefully the decision is backed up by the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals, giving it greater legitimacy in the long run. —JMC

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5 people having a worse Monday than you.

(via Wikipedia)

2. The people of Arizona. Action star Steven Seagal says he is considering a run for governor of Arizona, which brings Arizona back into the limelight after we finally forgot about all that gun and immigrant stuff. (Arizona sucks, remember???) Of course, Seagal follows in a proud line of people-who-make-money-off-having-muscles turned governors, including Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Americans simply trust people who can deliver a poorly written punchline in the middle of a firefight and not crack a smile. The big question is: If Arnold was the Governator, does this mean Seagal will be Above the Governor? Or maybe the Under Siegenor? Luckily, there is plenty of time for someone to come up with a better nickname. —SRD

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5 people having a worse Monday than you.

(file photo)

1. People who are desperately trying to make it to one week before breaking their New Year's resolutions. Okay, we can do this. We've already gone without dessert for five days in a row. It's no big deal. There's not even anything sugary in the house. We knew temptation would hit, so we wisely threw out all the ice cream and chocolate and omigod ice cream. No. How about this? We'll get out an apple, slice it up, and have that instead. Good for us! We're going to feel so healthy and smug. Hmm, someone bought a new jar of Nutella. That's okay, we can dip the apple in it. Okay, we're out of apples. Guess a spoon is almost as healthy as an apple, right? Hehe. No clean spoons, either. Fingers are relatively clean. We'll just have one little dollop and jesus christ we can't take it anymore Nutella monster want more! MORE!!!!!! —SRD

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