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(via peepingjohn)

5. Anyone who's still recovering from encountering SantaCon. This weekend, the red-hatted, liquor-toting, punch-throwing masses descended on New York City for the annual shitshow affectionately known as SantaCon. New York residents huddled in what few bars they could maintain control over, ducking across sidewalks crowded with zombies in red jackets, and avoiding the subway for fear of running into a vomit-covered St. Nick who might permanently ruin Christmas. Some Santas were harder to avoid, like the one above, who was captured getting a handjob in a Duane Reade at 14th Street and 3rd Avenue by Instagram user peepingjohn. Hint: depending on your job, the video's probably NSFW. When will the madness end? How many handjobs will have to be given in how many chain pharmacies before someone makes SantaCon illegal forever? De Blasio, your first task as mayor is clear.