5 people having a worse Monday than you.

5 people having a worse Monday than you.
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(Getty)

5. Ashley Wagner. Ashley Wagner came into the Sochi Olympics with a big unopened Olympic Ring next to her name. Even though she placed fourth at the U.S. Championships, the U.S. Figure Skating Association decided to give her the third spot on the ladies figure skating team over Mirai Nigasu—scandal! Wagner had something to prove, and she skated awesomely during the team event. After her skate, Wagner was visibly thrilled. That smile soured though as Wagner got her score: a disappointing 63.10, which led Wagner to say the word "bullshit" on live TV. It also generated the first meme of these Olympic Games, which means the calls for an apology are sure to be coming in soon. But I think we should be celebrating her unsportsmanlike behavior! So far, the Sochi Olympics are hardly the disaster we were expecting. We need people like Wagner to entertain us with their unscripted cursing and grumpy facial expressions. USA! USA! —SRD

 

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(via Wikipedia)

4. Homophobic football fans. Michael Sam of Missouri announced yesterday that despite defying many conventional stereotypes about gay men, he is gay. Sam, who has been playing for Missouri, will likely be drafted into the NFL this spring. While most Americans seem ready to see a gay player in the NFL and at least one NFL receiver has tweeted that there's no reason a gay player would be a distraction, there's still a big ol' chunk of America that thinks it would be problematic for a man who has sex with men to be a defensive end. It remains to be seen whether his announcement will affect how quickly he is picked, but in the meantime the usual suspects who can't handle change are having a hard time today. —SRD

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(via Wikipedia)

3. Giraffe lovers. Well, here's a gruesome one. Despite plenty of angry letters and demonstrations, the Copenhagen Zoo killed a male giraffe named Marius on Sunday because they were concerned about inbreeding. They then dismembered the giraffe (in front of a crowd that included children) and fed part of it to the lions. Did someone on the staff of the Copenhagen Zoo lose a bet with a lion? That's the only explanation I can think of for why the zoo would be so bizarrely callous, despite the fact that several other zoos offered to take the young giraffe. And did they really have to name the animal after Cosette's love interest? If you're going to kill a giraffe, name it after a literary character I have zero positive associations with, like Humbert Humbert or Voldemort. Don't drag Les Mis into this! —SRD

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(via Wikipedia)

2. Anyone who was hoping to play "Flappy Bird." If you've wandered near the Internet in the past week or so, you've seen people groaning and moaning about a new mobile game that was both addicting and impossible—"Flappy Bird." The point of the game was simple (or so I've heard, I didn't get to iTunes in time to play it myself): keep a fat little bird in the air for as long as possible. Perhaps most importantly, the game was extremely stingy with points, with most users struggling to escape the single digits. The worldwide phenomenon, however, drove the game's Vietnamese creator, Nguyen Ha Dong, crazy and he totally freaked out and pulled the game (which was making $50,000 a day) from the iTunes store. This, in turn, caused Flappy Bird fans to go psychotic and threaten to kill him. Perhaps even crazier (because crazy people threatening violence online isn't that unusual), iPhones with the game already installed are selling for $100,000 on eBay. —JMC

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(screengrab via Weather.com)

1. Anyone who is pretty much done with this whole winter thing. Wait, you mean you're not enjoying the unceasing barrage of snowstorms that let up only long enough for the sun to come out, melt the gray ice on the side of the road, and turn the sidewalk into a treacherous, disgusting slush field? Sorry to hear that, because winter ain't over yet! This week in Georgia and here in New York, forecasters are predicting even more dreariness, delays, and cold, wet feet. In my opinion, it should only snow directly over the houses of people who say things like: "It's February. This is how it's supposed to be." —SRD

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