5. Australian news anchor Natarsha Belling, who wore a jacket with a penis-shaped neckline on air.
Clipping that mic to it is pretty kinky. (Channel 10 via Metro)
Natarsha Belling is a highly respected newsreader for Australia's Network Ten. Whoever is in charge of her wardrobe, however, might have just lost some respect. That person is responsible for picking out this green jacket, which would be very flattering if the neckline weren't shaped like a cartoon dong ejaculating a zipper. The Internet immediately picked up on the resemblance and went with it. Let's hope this all blows over soon and everyone stops giving Belling a hard time. Come on, people; she's a journalist. Don't be a dick.
4. Bill Cosby, who took more of a beating than Justin Bieber at the Justin Bieber roast.
Congrats Justin! You're the lesser of two evils. (Getty)
Comedy Central taped its Roast of Justin Bieber on Saturday, and the 21-year-old singer took some vicious jabs from the comedians and other entertainers on the dais. However, those jokes were affectionate compared to the shots fired at Bill Cosby, who wasn't even there to hear them. You can't fault anyone for going after Cosby the way they did. Say what you will about the Biebs, he's not accused of being a serial rapist. Many of the jokes were directed at Hannibal Buress (who was on the dais), since he was the one brought the charges against Cosby to light months ago by mentioning them in a standup performance. Here are a couple:
“Justin, I don't like your music…I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy." –Hannibal Buress
“Hannibal Buress is famous for exposing Cosby. He's only famous for exposing Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby hurt those women without ever caring about the consequences…that Hannibal Buress would become famous." –Pete Davidson
For more, check out our roundup of the best jokes from the Roast.
3. Rodner Figueroa, the Univision host fired for saying Michelle Obama looks like she came out of 'Planet of the Apes.'
Fired Host Rodner Figueroa Apologizes to Michelle Obama, Blames Univision http://t.co/sKput1V6q4 pic.twitter.com/iUb0zYmrvn
— TheWrap (@TheWrap) March 14, 2015
Rodner Figueroa was a host on the Spanish-language TV station Univision. He is a daytime Emmy winner known for his "biting fashion commentary," but this time, he may have bitten off more than he can chew. Figueroa was covering the story of a Filipino man who uses makeup and camera tricks to look like different female celebrities when he saw a picture of the man made up to look like Michelle Obama. Figueroa told his cohosts: "Well, watch out, you know that Michelle Obama looks like she's from the cast of Planet of the Apes, the movie." As in, she looks like an ape. Because she's a black woman. Yikes.
When the other anchors objected, Figueroa held his ground, saying, "But it is true." Since then, Univision has fired Figueroa, calling his comments "completely reprehensible." It's a harsh end to his 17 years with the network, but it's also pretty amazing that he worked there that long and didn't know better. If there's one skill that TV personalities need, it's hiding their racism.
2. The passengers of a British Airways flight that turned back to England because of a "smelly poo."
The cabin isn't the only thing that's pressurized. (Getty)
How long would you be willing to sit on a plane, surrounded by the overpowering smell of poop? How about the seven hours needed to fly from London to Dubai? For the passengers on one British Airways flight, that decision wasn't even left up to them. The captain came on the PA system in midair and announced that the plane was returning to London because someone had dropped "a smelly poo in the toilet."
Insane! Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet! 15hrs until next flight... #britishairways
— Abhishek Sachdev (@CllrAbhiSach) March 12, 2015
The pilot insisted that the smell was not due to any technical fault with the plane. Personally, though, I think if the plane's bathroom is not equipped to deal with a terrible bowel movement, that is a technical fault. Ticket prices are expensive enough that every passenger should have the opportunity to unleash whatever horrors they want once they're on board. Let's face it: after a four-hour layover and a couple Cinnabons, nobody's at their best. No reason to cancel everyone's vacation because of it.
1. Robert Durst, who was arrested for murder the day before he was heard confessing on HBO's 'The Jinx.'
If only he had actually been jinxed, he wouldn't have talked. (Getty)
Robert Durst originally pitched HBO the idea for the true-crime series The Jinx because he wanted to tell his side of the story concerning some murders that he may or may not or totally may have committed. In the end, Durst did get his story out, but maybe not in the way he intended. He forgot to remove his microphone before going to the bathroom while shooting the series, and, while muttering to himself in a really murderery-sounding way, dropped such gems as "What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course." Durst was arrested on charges of murder in New Orleans, the day before that footage aired on The Jinx finale. In the interest of a fair trial, he should probably be cross-examined on the toilet.