5. Mother Earth. Time to dedicate one whole day to seeing how much we screwed up our planet in the last 364. This year's tally is not especially promising. Carbon dioxide concentrations are nearly 50% higher than they were in preindustrial times. Sidenote: If someone could figure out how to get carbon dioxide molecules to stop destroying the planet and start competing against each other in a televised dance off, they'd be a billionaire. On the plus side, scientists have discovered several planets that may have similar atmospheric conditions to earth, so we can always jump ship if need be. Happy Earth Day, indeed.

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4. Reese Witherspoon. Although she does look terrific in this mug shot, we're still disappointed to learn that Reese Witherspoon isn't the perfect, blonde girl-next-door that we love to love. She isn't even blonde right now! The mug shot was taken after she and her husband James Toth were arrested over the weekend. Toth was pulled over and given a DUI, while Witherspoon—in typical sassy, Southern gal fashion—refused to remain in the car and demanded to know if police knew who she was or how much trouble they'd be in for arresting her. Apparently, they had not seen Walk the Line as they arrested her anyway for disorderly conduct. This is definitely the part in the movie where Reese eats a box of chocolates and turns her life around, montage-style.

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