Most people spend eight long, long hours a day at work, so there are bound to be some highs and lows. But for every free cake in the break room, there's a passive-aggressive fridge note… or an even worse decision. Hopefully, you've never done anything as bad as the redditors on this list.
1. This story is from a user whose Reddit identity was deleted, just like their law career.
I used to work in a law firm. I left a file in mail room and mail room sent it to the opposing side. I no longer work in a law firm.
2. When dealing with elmatador12, wait your turn or pay the price.
I was working at an extremely busy gas station with a line out the door. The woman came in going right to the front asking for directions. I said I would be glad to help her, but let me get through these paying customers first. (I was the only one there, and this is before Google Maps). Well she would not stop yelling about it and interrupting. So finally I asked where she was going. She said the name of a mall that was literally down the street. I gave her directions to another mall 20 minutes away. All the customers watched and listened to me give these wrong directions. When she was in her car driving away, the 10 or so customers I had in the store gave me a resounding applause.
3. roastbeefandtoast had a moment that would be hilarious on an old sitcom, but quite humiliating in real life.
Worst thing I ever did, ever in my life, was when I worked at a cafe. I was running out orders and bussing tables, and I was just learning how to hold the tray properly with my left hand. So I get an order; one cappuccino, one strawberry milkshake, for a mother and her little girl. As I get to their table, I put the coffee in front of the woman, then unbalance the tray and accidentally spill the milkshake. All over this seven year old kid. It was her birthday and they were her new clothes and shoes. Man, even her feet were just swimming in milkshake. Horrifying.
4. That day itscirony just didn't have their brain. Or anybody else's.
I dropped a brain... Actually if I'm being honest I dropped two...
EDIT: For those of you who are asking, I'm a neuroscientist. The brains were for research purposes! (They were also mice brains, and anyone who owns a mouse knows how wiggly they can be!)
5. Bearbats was really on the ball at his job.
I worked as a busboy for a good three years. For the last year, I worked my entire shift with my testicles hanging out of my fly. I wear an apron, so no one ever, ever noticed.
6. This story from willworkforIPA shows it's pretty bad to drop heavy, toxic things on anybody, let alone your boss.
I dropped an x-ray tube head on a full-bird colonel who also happened to be the squadron commander. Pretty solid laceration with a lot of blood. Happened about a week ago now, and we've already had 5 briefings about safety in the workplace, specifically focused on X-ray machines.
7. Ibrah1mMoizoos can tell you it's always a good idea to wear gloves.
I work at a golf course and me and a fellow employee were digging up a sprinkler head that was installed in the ground. I had a shovel and he was taking the dirt out with his hands. I speared his thumb about halfway off. Blood everywhere.
8. If you think that the stripper "really likes you," and that stripper is peepbeep, you are very wrong.
I am a stripper and I fart on nearly everyone I give a lapdance to, but no one's ever noticed because boobs. It's the little things.
9. If murder_cheeze had time to lean, then he had time to clean.
When was 16, I worked at Arby's, and my manager always rode my ass to clean the bathroom, including the inside of the toilet barehanded, the walls, the floor, the sink, everything. I hated this job, so I swirled the mop around the inside of the toilet, used the newly-wet mop to take care of the walls, and then used it to clean the sink.
I had a little growing up to do.
10. Muteent2 figured out a way to ice out a coworker. Literally.
I once cut a slit in a hose that would spray on a car throughout the freezing night because the person was cruel and mean to everyone she came in contact with. We didn't kick her out of the hotel, but everyone refused to help her the next morning then her small car was completely frozen. There was at least a solid inch of ice over her entire car and a nice sheet of ice surrounding it making it difficult to chip it off the car.
I worked in the medical supply department for a major hospital. We had keys to the room where tanks of gas were stored..like O2 and things like that. One day I organized and participated in a 3-man operation to steal a large tank of anesthetic gas (nitrous oxide) and a regulator. We took this thing back to my apartment and I sold balloons full of it for $1 a piece. I dominated the whip-it cartel for the whole summer that year.
12. If you've ever accidentally "Replied All" to something you shouldn't have, consider that organicchemist almost killed the entire staff.
As a young research chemist I dumped a significant amount of sodium cyanide into an organic waste container that sat out in the lab. Our lab's organic waste was usually acidic and was at the time, which caused cyanide gas fill the lab.... thankfully cyanide gas isn't as toxic as people think and it was caught early by an attentive post-doc with a good sense of smell.
13. And then there's _tx, who apparently helped destroy the economy.
I screwed up the review of a valuation so a fund ended up paying about 5m more than it really should have for a portfolio investment.
14. Endless_Vanity probably shouldn't have a job dealing with cars. Or doors.
I ripped the doors off a semi. The trailer was parked inside our unloading area. Locked in by the building. I hopped in the cab and drove out. Tore the guys right off. Oops.
15. User grimrox made a plumber's entire working life flash before his eyes (and all over his body).
Working on a building site during the initial strip out phase I needed to use the toilet. Went for a crap, hit the flush and returned to the site office only to hear yelling from downstairs. The plumber we'd contracted was standing in a puddle holding the soil pipe he was disconnecting and had poop on him and the floor. No one had thought to put up a sign not to use the mains toilets.
16. Have you ever wonder who relieves the ticket-taker in their little booth? According to TheRedEminence, nobody does, so he had to relieve himself.
Working in a ticket sales booth at Six Flags. They left me there for eight hours despite my having to pee for the last five of them. Finally, I peed in the vacuum tube which takes the money to the counting room. At the end of the day people were wondering about the tiny droplets on all the canisters.
17. RoughestNeckAround doesn't leave fridge notes. He gets even.
I was working in an office, doing office-type work. There was this one dickhead, Tim, who kept stealing everyone's sandwiches from the fridge. Everyone knew it was him, but he'd never admit. One day I took a tin of Skoal and dumped it in between two pieces of bread. No cheese, no meat, no mustard, just a straight up Skoal sandwich. Of course Tim stole my sandwich that day. I found the sandwich in the garbage later that day with one BIG bite missing. Tim "wasn't feeling so good" and took the rest of the day off. I'm sure he was still puking the next morning. You DON'T mess with a man's sandwich.