Who cares if your coworkers are on vacation or reserving the conference room for boring ol' work stuff? What you really want to know is when they will be slacking off because of relationship drama, stinking up the office with egg salad yet again, or discussing whether to fire you. We all use Google Calendar to keep organized, so why not be honest about what we actually need to know to get through the day?

Here's what your office calendar would look like if it was actually useful.