If you're mired in unemployment — and there's a depressingly likely chance that you are — here's a look at your deranged competition. A proficiency in sandwich preparedness and a fear of the elderly might seem like questionable qualifications for an office job, but they're still more impressive than your summer in the Arby's drive-thru. Let us know if you've seen, written, or personally rejected any resumes as ridiculous as these.