The thought of winding up in prison is absolutely terrifying. And the many prison-based movies and prison-based TV shows (Orange is the New Black, Prison Break, Oz, etc.) do little to demystify life in the slammer. If anything, those movies and TV shows are a big part of why most of us want to stay far, far away from a correctional facility.
However, the world of prison is not necessarily like it's depicted on screen. A few people who had been incarcerated took to Reddit to weigh in on what life behind bars was really like for them.
1. Former prisoner megaWobbly says that in prison you gotta watch your back…because one of the other inmates may have a board game or a Sudoku book or something.
It was a lot more boring. Very little excitement. Very little violence. Lots of wanking. Lots of reading.
2. User tirwander did some time at a prison that may have also been an airport bookstore.
SOOOO BORING. It drove me nuts. The library fucking sucked too... lots of western pornography books. Lots of really shitty books. So much James Patterson and Dean Koontz.
3. User produce_this says what your ol' granddad used to say: don't pee where you poop, and don't poop where you pee.
We had 6 toilets. 3 for poopin, and 3 for pissin. If your pissed in one of the shitting toilets, you might get your ass beat.
4. According to MandalaIII, prison is like summer camp, but with more chicken wings.
I spent 1.5 years in a federal prison for women (medium security) in Florida.
There was a lot of shitty things, I'm not gonna lie. But we also had popcorn and cotton candy on holidays, chicken wings and soda for the super bowl, and in the summer we had a Battle of the (Housing) Units contest that went three months, where we competed on teams doing sports, trivia, and other games, as well as a Biggest Loser-style contest.
There were some truly dark moments but honestly I had a grand fucking time, doing yoga and suntanning with terrorists and murderers (of which I knew several).
5. Me-Here-Now says that prison is basically like New York: It's crowded and everything is expensive.
What surprised me the most are all the things inmates have to pay for, or go with out. Like phones and email, postage stamps. Many of these services go through outside companies who charge way too much for the service and then there's always a fee when you pay for the service. Want to put $10 on someone's phone, that is $13.95 with fees.
6. Another_Desk_Jockey says prison was…(rolls handful of dice)…fun and games!
D&D is huge in most prisons. We had to remove some books from an inmates cell one time (there was a limit of 3 per inmate) and he was furious because he needed his DM guide, player handbook, and monster manual and was going to have to give one up if he wanted to keep the novel he was reading.
7. The burrito jim_okc describes would not be the worst burrito many of us have ever had.
Prison "burritos". A lot of guys like to make weird junk food loaves from various junk food sorta mashed all together and call it a burrito. Apparently this is a nationwide thing. Prison haggis would be a more accurate term for it.
8. This story from needasketchASAP is why it's good they haven't invented smell-o-vision to go along with prison shows.
for me only jail not prison, but - one thing tv failed to capture is how fucking gross jail is. The smell of the place and some of the people there is something i've never experienced anywhere else. A highschool locker room dirty laundry basket smells better after a football game than a jail. I grew up without a lot of money and ate some gross stuff, but the food in jail is inedible garbage. They give you a warm baloney sandwich and a bag of tang-type liquid, thats a typical meal. Just seeing it on TV isnt giving you the full picture of being immersed in the filth
9. "HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY BLAH BLAH BLAH" - prison, according to zonk3.
Prison life is bad enough as is, for me, it was the goddamned noise all the fucking time. Some fucking asshole is always making noise.
10. According to freederp, a major part of being behind bars is not being behind bars at all.
Every weekday I went to an off campus warehouse and recycled trash from the prison and near by towns. 100% of trash from the prison was recycled and gone through by hand. 8 hours a day I was in a jumpsuit going through the nastiest trash. Lost of porn, letters from lovers(dirty letters), contraband, whatever. Stupid thing, is, when something like a needle was thrown away it was just put in the trash and some kid got poked by one.
11. It must be true if their user name is tells_no_lie.
no one cares what you are in for, everyone just wants to mind their own business.
12. 24thstate says prison is full of just the gosh-darn nicest bunch of fellas you'd ever want to introduce to your kid sister.
There's far fewer actual criminals in prison then you might think--at least in American prisons. I don't know what it's like elsewhere. Here in the US the prisons are filled with low level drug offenders and parole violators. Dui offenders and the like. Not so many killers and rapists and thieves. People hold the door for you and say excuse me.
13. User officialanswer says that the people are just the worse. Oh, not the ones in prison, though.
I spent 3 years in a Texas prison and was only assaulted once and rarely shown disrespect. I was appalled to return to the "real world" and find out how disrespectful and cruel people were. I guess you have to be more civil when you're trapped with people that will occasionally kick your face in if you're a constant douche-bundle.
14. According to Dustin, those orange jumpsuits are evidently not lined with fleece.
Cold as fuck. Always so damn cold. Took showers often as possible to thaw out in luke warm water. Oh, and your blanket stays on your bed. No question.
15. But FeloniusSwagger says prison is far worse than you could ever imagine.
Its nothing like movies/tv, more like high school. It's all he said she said, heard from the grapevine(jail.com) drama. Oh and everyone thinks the're a rapper.