5. Florida Voters - In a state whose population consists of equal parts senile Jewish grandmothers, hungover Disney mascots and meth-addled alligator wrestlers, we'd be shocked if anything that happened in this state wasn't a total clusterf**k. Thus, it's not surprising to hear that some Florida voters are being subjected to six- or even nine-hour lines just to get to the polls. To their credit, these Floridians are braving those horrible conditions to express their right to vote. Either that, or they died in line a few hours ago and no one's been able to tell the difference.
4. PayPal Hacking Victims - We're not entirely sure what a Catholic terrorist's failed 17th century bomb plot has to do with stealing a bunch of PayPal passwords, and we're pretty sure these guys don't either. But hey, when you're a group of technologically gifted social misfits with no moral compass and a s**tload of time on your presumably unemployed hands, it's fun to pretend you're leading some kind of noble rebellion against an oppressive government instead of just stealing a bunch of innocent people's identities while wearing incredibly dorky masks. That said, Anonymous, we're terrified of you, and please don't hurt us.