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5. Republicans - Hurricane Isaac has postponed the start of the Republican National Convention — a.k.a. "Comic-Con with bowties" — until tomorrow, which means conservatives get one fewer day of trying very, very hard to sound excited about Mitt Romney. Canceled events include a Todd Akin Powerpoint lecture on the mysteries of the female body and a shirtless reading of The Fountainhead by Paul Ryan, though you can still catch the shirtless Doritos-eating exhibition being held in Chris Christie's hotel room.