The desire for self-control is a desire for death. The self should be set free to butt up against the world clumsily and angrily, to gorge upon this world's bounty, to scarf down as many of your precious bite-size Take-5's as can be grabbed in a single chocolate smeared fist. Your coworkers don't want control. They want to eat their feelings of rage in response to your judgmental notes and they want to do it with some frigging candy so cough it up.

Sources: Imgur