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Office parties are the ultimate opportunity to see the people you see every day in a new light—for better or for worse. Redditors are sharing the Human Resources violations they had the fortune/misfortune of witnessing in their place of work.

http://www.someecards.com/office-christmas-party-cards/heres-to-fooling-your-company-into-thinking-youre-mature-enough-to-handle-an-open-bar

These stories are not safe for work, in case you work at one of these places.

1. Searchingtheblue saw her boss's undress rehearsal.

We bought our boss Sexy Santa lingerie as a gag gift. She tried it on in front of us and proceeded to do a strip tease dance all the while screaming out how her husband was going to love this. She's 54.

I worked at a call centre. I am a female, was 16 years old at the time; so the answer was/still is , no I did not particularly enjoy it.

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2. Tsundoku_all's assistant gives good assistance.

My assistant gave a blowjob to one of my bosses at a bus stop while her boyfriend smoked cigars with our coworkers.

3. Stralerman's coworker got down and dusty.

Work party. one guy took a shit in the toilet followed by grabbing the vacuum cleaner and sucking it all up.

4. *record scratch* *freeze frame* You're probably wondering how uch ended up in this situation.

GM (guy) and controller (girl) were grinding on the dance floor. GM's wife confronts them on the dance floor in front of everyone, "Is this the whore you've been f*cking?" Needle off the record moment. The controller's husband had been suspicious for a while and considered this confirmation. Both couples divorced shortly after. GM and controller are now married.

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5. Jared runintheforest2 got to know his boss a bit too well.

First Christmas party at a tech startup.

Go to the bathroom towards the end of the night. Realize mid-piss that the sounds coming from the stall next mine are the CTO and his wife going at it. Step out of the stall and the CEO and some sales guys are doing lines. CEO sees me and shouts, "hey, it's Jared!!" My name isn't Jared.

He called me Jared for about 6mos after that until I pulled him aside and corrected him one day.

Fun times.

6. Losttangent's company sure gets ducked up.

Didn't witness this one but heard that this happened just a few months before I was hired. We had a wine tasting for the managers with just some cheese, minor hors d'ouvres, etc. One particular manager got completely sloshed on wine and got super flirty with another manager from a different department who was significantly younger and good looking.

At some point, this young lady put some scented lotion on her hands. Smelling this, the drunk manager came over to her and pulled his dick out and asked her to put some lotion on there too. Right in the middle of the room and tasting.

I heard he was gone instantly. He was recently found out to currently be a tour guide on a duckboat and a bad one at that.

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7. WillConway2016's office has/had big windows.

Coworker threw his desk chair out of a 4 story window after having a few too many.

8. It must have been the #2 in Kul_kids's office.

Used to work for a big bank. We had a little potluck for Christmas, and long story short about 2 hours later, someone shit in the bathroom and smeared it literally, and I mean literally, all over the bathroom stalls. The wall, the stall door handle, the toilet sensor; fucking everywhere. It looked like a XXL Hershey bar stepped on an IED.

We never did quite catch the elusive poop handle bandit. Legend says he's still out there, ravaging the latrines of financial institutions to this day.

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9. B8le's office is why the Footloose town banned music.

Karaoke - Started with 2 assistants, both women, doing a ballad together.

In rapid succession, on the 'stage', and with plenty of drinks between the following things happened:

Those two women sing a few songs while clutching each other and giggling the entire time.

Some less than wholesome dancing together to a George Michael song.

Remaining on the 'stage' one of them sits in a rolling chair while the other serenades/gives a lapdance to her to Santa Baby.

At this point another woman in the office decides it's best to throw some cold water on this party by cutting off the Karaoke and play a Christmas music CD, first song is All I Want for Christmas is You.

The two women turn this into what seems like the perfect song to sexy slowdance to, much caressing and grinding happening.

They are finally broken up once they start making out and light groping eachother while trying to hide behind a Santa hat that one of them is holding up covering their faces.

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10. Sweoj had great times at the Dundies.

Worked in a warehouse for a while, we had regular 'awards nights' where we'd all get fucked up and hand out stupid awards like driver of the year for the person who had the worst forklift accident, or who crashed a work car. Other things of note:

  1. Doing lines with the boss off his desk every party
  2. Married co-workers banging in the car park
  3. The mentally handicapped (and very drunk) cleaner getting wrapped in packing tape by 3 guys
  4. Having forklift races in the isles of the warehouse, forklifts being driven by guys who are plastered
  5. Using forklifts to lift each other to the roof of the warehouse

I don't miss my old job but damn I miss the parties

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11. It's business as usual for jodics.

All 30 of us ended up on top of a mountain at sunrise, naked and drunk. We then went for breakfast and back to work.

12. Psychonaughty has a beautiful story for the kids.

I was the one who started giving him head in the middle of the party. It’s okay though, we’re still together to this day.

13. You can't complain to HR when the orgy's with HR, as JohnWayne84 knows.

Christmas party. Married HR woman had an orgy with 5 of the warehouse workers. All still work there, HR woman is still married.

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13. Wdh662's story of cops gone wild shows that male strippers aren't too far off.

When I was a teenager I volunteered to DD at a fancy dinner for the local RCMP detachment (police). Had some big wigs from provincial headquarters and such. I think it was like the stations 50th anniversary or something similar.

Jesus. Christ.

One cop got on stage with the band and started singing. Was really good actually.

One female cop dancing on a table broke it and went face first into the floor. Kept on partying once the blood stopped.

There was a young new cop that year. Ripped good looking guy. So this guy was getting panties thrown at him left right and center. Driving him and his current date home they fucked in the back seat. He slipped me 20 dollars and told me I saw nothing. (I saw everything).

Next trip the cop and his wife were drunk but nothing outrageous. But as they were getting out he casually tossed what ended up being a pair of thong panties into the front seat and saying something I didn't quite hear. I assume they were from the previous couple.

And my favorite was driving one of the higher ranking pice officers in my province back to his hotel and he just fell over as I rounded a curve. Like a tree. Unconscious. Had to get hotel staff to help drag him out.

Now imagine all this with mounties dressed in their red surge. And these are just the things I saw. My buddies who were DD'ing have similar tales.

Hard to take a cop seriously when he's giving you a ticket for speeding in a car you watched him finger a girls ass in.

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