Fig. 1 – a weirdo.
There's an old saying: every office has a weirdo. If you think your office doesn't have a weirdo, then you're the weirdo.
This advice is woefully inadequate. Most weirdos have no idea how weird they are, or what weirdness even looks like. That's part of what makes them so weird. They probably think that somebody else is the office creep because they drink almond milk. Meanwhile, their own cubicle is full of live squirrels. Or dead squirrels. Either would be weird.
Here's my point: you might be the office weirdo right now, and you would have no idea. Here are a few red flags to look out for. If any of these apply to you, you might want to start working from home.
1. Your coworkers stop talking when you walk into the room.
They were talking about you and you know it.
2. Everyone puts on their headphones when you start eating.
Close your mouth when you chew.
3. They bought you your own mini-fridge.
Now their normal food won't be contaminated by your steamed eggs or whatever.
4. You yell at the copier when it jams, but about unrelated topics.
"The banks want our blood! Illuminati!"
5. After the office pizza party, you ask if you can take home the boxes.
What are you going to do with them? Nothing wholesome.
6. You bring your dog to work, but your "dog" is actually just a cotton ball.
"Again? I just walked you!"
7. You're pretty sure HR's "no hair sniffing" speech was directed at you.
"Don't lean in Jerry. Don't you lean! Resist…"
8. Everyone counts down the days until your vacation.
It's because you smell.
9. Your out-of-office message mentions the Kennedy assassination.
"I will be out of the office until I figure out who the HELL paid off Jack Ruby."
10. You don't take feedback well.
They can't give you constructive criticism from the grave.
(Images via Thinkstock.)