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Do you have a computer-based job where the majority of your human contact comes from emails or Slack messages? Count yourself one of the lucky ones who don't earn a living from retail. Whether they're jeans or computers, retail employees have to be friendly when they don't want to. But what's behind that friendly mask? What if retail employees... could talk? Amazingly, they can, and they did on Reddit about the secrets of their trade. Here are some secrets you may not have known about life in the store.

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1. Before you can buy a single sock, people like trolltollwhatyousay have to release them from an environmentalist's nightmare.

I worked in a clothes store for years and when delivery arrived every single item had to be unwrapped. A pair of socks, jeans, a pair of £3 earrings etc., every last thing comes in a plastic sealed bag. We'd throw away enough rubbish to fill a huge dumpster easily before the store even opened every day

2. This tip from EatingTurkey shows that the "loyalty" in "store loyalty card" is more about employees' loyalty to a place that could fire them at any moment.

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We HAVE to ask if you have our "X" card. Managers are often discreetly observing transactions and writing up little feedback cards. We'll lose our jobs if we keep skipping that question and we dislike asking as much as you dislike being asked.

3. Threatening to take your business elsewhere is the greatest gift you can give a retail employee like suestrong315.

That we aren't hiding merchandise from the consumer. I work at Home Depot and ppl seem to think that by saying "I'll just go to Lowe's then!" means it'll magically appear in the store for purchase. And on top of that, your declaration of taking your business elsewhere doesn't affect us the way you want it to. I'm not gonna throw myself at your feet and beg that you stay and apologize with tears in my eyes because we don't have any more 100w daylight light bulbs. If you can find it at Lowe's then get it there.

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4. Sharobob shares a heretofore unheralded pleasure that comes with getting old.

I know someone who works for Walgreens and they say that it would shock you the number of little old grandmas who will just straight up grab shit off of the shelf, throw it in their purse, and walk right the fuck on out of there without a single sideways glance.

All the employees are allowed to do is go up to them and ask if they can help them with anything to try to make them uncomfortable enough to stop.

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5. Have you ever asked a retail employee to check in the back? User salhey has a shocking revelation about what stores keep "in the back."

IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK

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6. But Mykelbrown says that sometimes there is a back room, and it's full of garbage you'll buy on December 23.

Every year at Christmas time , especially the last two weeks before, we empty out the back room of all the shit that wouldn't sell all year long and watch the desperate crazies buy it

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7. Here's a generic comment from I_Time_Bomb.

Ok, trying to provide an actual secret. A lot of store brand items are actually name brands in different packages. I used to work for Walmart and great value milk was actually Land O Lakes milk, Sam's choice pizza was actually freschetta, and I believe great value bread was made by Sara Lee. It all depends on where the store is and which company will give them the better deal, but store brand is usually as good as a mid quality name brand.

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8. Hey, you know how stories relating to "profiling" have dominated the news for the past 10 years? According to d0ndada that's also retail's jam. Neat.

Worked 10 years in retail. Our loss prevention team profiles you. Teenagers, especially in groups, are watched the entire time they're in the store. You are economically profiled, if you look like trailer trash or a gangster or just shit broke, there's a camera on you the whole time.

9. Some people like cash, and cashiers like groudontamer don't like to handle old, warm, germ papers.

We actually like when you use your credit/debit card instead of cash. No matter how big the purchase.

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10. Skyemonkey doesn't remember you. And all this time you thought you'd made a friend.

"I was here last week and you helped me with..."

"uh... I wear a name tag because when I'm here I can't remember my own name, why would I remember you? "

11. So, if what medinaiscool says is true, it's like being nice…will make others nice…to…you?

If you are nice, I will give you whatever coupon I have. If you demand I give you a discount, said coupon does not exist.

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12. This fact from TemplarReflex777 is true. Unless they're playing Phil Collins' "One More Night." They're always playing Phil Collins' "One More Night."

Music plays over the speakers because studies have found that shoppers spend more time in the store when music is playing versus less time spent in the store when there is no background music.

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13. Tarshana, and everyone else in line behind them, will magic slow shoppers.

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When I see you break out a checkbook I am swearing voodoo curses at you in my brain.

14. Go ahead, Megaross says. Complain to the manager. Please.

Most complaints you make to managers will be basically dealt with as "oh some customer complained about you but he seemed like a prick so I'm not concerned."

15. User needtoshave says to only fill out the customer surveys if you're going to give employees all "excellents." Or, you could just help them out and give them all "excellents" even if their customer service was only "good."

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All the customer surveys only count positively if you say you are 100% satisfied. I.e. If the questions ask from 1-10, 1 being not satisfied and 10 being satisfied how would you rate "blank". If it is not all tens then it counts against us. We only get reported the % of highly satisfied, and are penalized harshly if monthly numbers are low.

In short, unless the person serving you was an ass, then just give them top scores every time.

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16. If you've ever wondered if they're tryin' to get ya, OhCleo confirms that they are, indeed, tryin' to get ya.

The entire supermarket 'experience' is designed with the intention of making you spend more time and more money inside the store. The lighting (real and artificial), the sounds, the smells, the temperature, the layout, the depth of the baskets/trollies, the position of certain items in the store, the height at which certain items are displayed... nothing is accidental.

17. Then why do you always ask, MrauderGaming? And why do we always say "And then some!" when we know you've heard that "joke" a hundred times?!

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We don't actually care if you found what you wanted

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