At least one can be found in every office. You know, the weirdo. The guy who microwaves fish. The guy with 500 cat pictures in his cubicle. (And if you're office doesn't have a weird guy… it might be you.) Luckily, a few workers of the world shared the warning signs with Reddit, in the form of the single creepiest thing their office weird guy ever did to make them feel extra ooky.
1. SwanchSwabz works with an Atkins weido.
I put my meatball sandwich in the office refrigerator someone ate the meatballs out of the sandwich but not the sandwich. thats pretty creepy to me.
2. Yeah, exastria, gotta taste that cough and see if it's a good cough or a bad cough.
Cough into his hand and then lick his palm. I sat opposite and died a little inside each time.
3. LittleLarry works with a very committed close-talking weirdo.
Close talker. Really close. You back up and he follows you.
4. Office weirdos like the one giraffevomitfacts describes are usually into butts.
The guy had taken a giant cylindrical metal ashtray that was normally somewhere else in the building and moved it into his office and was stirring the cigarette butts slowly with a slotted spoon and talking quietly to himself. The air was full of dust and ash.
5. The office creep that undercanopy813 doesn't want to dirty up his creepy little fingers with dirty little bread crumbs.
He will not touch food. He eats his sandwich with the baggie still wrapped around as much of it as possible. He eats bags of popcorn or chips with a spoon. He eats his bagel with a fork stabbed through it. Very strange, but also highly entertaining.
6. Sincere_210 worked with a weirdo who was both tall and weird.
I worked with a guy about 10 years ago that was close to 7 feet tall. He would walk slowly around the office and look over your cubicle wall and just stare at you until you looked up and he would just walk off.
7. Sounds like MetalMagg may work for the Property Brothers.
It's not one guy, but two. They are always together. They eat together, share a desk (they have their own), nap together and even take bathroom breaks together. Bad employees and weird dudes.
8. This is a very tactile fellow, Fatwhiteguy802.
He is constantly picking his nose, two knuckles deep just digging for gold. Drops food on the floor, leaves it for a few minutes before returning to finish eating it. Always throwing things at upper management when he doesn't get his way. Tries to lick things to claim them as his. Frequent reminders to use the bathroom and not his pants. Yup, I'm a stay at home dad.
9. DingleDanglies works with that other office stereotype, the opera-singing turtle man.
The current guy looks just like a spooked turtle all the time. He just stares at you and your computer screen while doing loud mouth breathing. He'll also suddenly burst out into opera and other strange songs.
10. Mrrmrrmrmrmrmmrmmrmr shitneysmears mrmrmmrmrmrmrmr.
He's a mumbler, and a chatty mumbler at that. No one can understand what he's saying because he doesn't open his mouth all the way. Or he starts out at normal vocal level and just takes an immediate nose dive. He also clips his (finger)nails in our tiny breakroom where we eat.
11. AnElectricFork worked with a weirdo who wouldn't even wait until the appropriate hour to talk with his mouth full of mayo.
Use to sit next to this guy who would eat full packets of mayonnaise at 8am. He would then turn to tell me something while his mouth of full of mayonnaise.
12. That job stinks, zebra_butts.
I worked with a guy that used to rub his fingers in his armpits, then (I think he thought this was subtle?) smell them in big whiffs. He was sniffing his BO for pleasure.
13. The first thing is pretty strange, but then sixty1g casually steps up the weird factor like ten notches.
She makes a salad by going into the bathroom and washing all the lettuce leaves. She then drapes paper towels all around her cubicle to dry the leaves. She then cuts up hot peppers in her cubicle. She then dries out her used tea leaves. She does this everyday. Her whole isle always smells moldy.
The company put on a baby shower for me and she gave me this used pig stuffed animal with a giant butthole. It was weird.
14. What freewafflecones calls harmless and weird is actually, technically, legally "assault."
This guy comes over to me and blows in my hair when I'm working. It's pretty harmless, but fuck that guy
15. Soup has always been the official food of creeps, Nespot-despot.
Makes creamy soups and stews at home then brings it in and INSISTS that we try it. He is really, really pushy and it makes you wonder . . . Just why is he SO adamant that we all have to eat it? What exactly is in it?
16. Life moves pretty fast for jetset hotshots like the one in this story from goode3790.
Not me, but my wife sits next to a guy who opens up oatmeal packets and throws in it his mouth along with water, making oatmeal in his mouth. He says he doesn't have time to eat. Does the same thing with protein powder and milk.
17. The weirdo in this office goes in crazy early to be weird, but Zeruvi is reporting on his antics, so it wasn't early enough.
In my old job a guy came in ~5.30 in the morning and would beat the shit out of the vending machine to try to get free food.
18. Time for you to hit the gas pedal right out of that office, cdyryky.
This one guy I worked with randomly gave a girl a gift out of the blue and told her not to open it 'til she got home. She went ahead opened it right after he left the room because, well, he's the weird guy and everyone wanted to know what scheme he had hatched this time to get a girl.
Inside was a literal gas pedal to a car, the lyrics to Gas Pedal (Sage the Gemini) that were still warm cause he had just printed out on the office printer, and a note offering to install it on her car over the weekend.