Woman stunned as when boyfriend 'snatches' ice cream from stranger on busy street. UPDATE 2X
"My (28F) boyfriend (29M) grabbed a stranger's ice cream. Can't believe this actually happened."
catmunist_manifesto
So we were out walking around this evening. He'd mentioned wanting to get ice cream but hadn't brought money and neither had I (We usually take a walk after dinner, and don't buy stuff during it unless we decide beforehand we want to get something that night)
So as we're walking past a group of people he made a sudden movement to the side and then started running in the opposite direction full speed. It was so fast I hadn't seen exactly what he did.
People were saying things like "holy sh!!!T" and "omg". One guy said "he took my ice cream," and that's when I realized what happened. He actually effing stole this guy's ice cream on a busy street!!!
I was absolutely shocked and mortified. Everyone around us had seen it, or else quickly got told about it. They were staring and pointing down the street where he was still running.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I apologized repeatedly to the man who's ice cream he'd grabbed, then said I was going to go find him and got myself out of there. Utterly humiliating.
Well he'd nearly made it back to the house in that time. I got there a few minutes later and found he had been crouched in the stairway furiously eating the ice cream out of the cup.
He scrambled when he heard me coming dripping ice cream everywhere. Looked like a deer in headlights. He literally left the cup on the stairs and RAN AWAY from me up to our apartment. But I had the key, so he was just standing there when I got there.
I of course demanded an explanation. He had the nerve to deny he'd done anything!! He insisted he didn't know what I was talking about! I sort of lost it and started yelling at him. "The cup is down on the stairs, your hands and mouth are covered in it, a dozen people literally SAW you snatch it right out of a guy's hand, what the eff do you mean you 'don't know?'"
He then changed his story and said it was just a joke. WTF? He decided to re-enact a youtube prank video. On a random stranger??? How is that a prank???
After I let us inside I kept asking what makes him think that's okay to do, and he changed the story AGAIN. This time he said he doesn't know why he did it, it was just an urge. I didn't even know what to say so I told him I needed some time to myself.
I'm seriously disturbed. He's got no good reason. This is completely out of character for him, he's always very mild, reserved, and treats people especially me very kindly. He's the last person I'd thought would do something like this. What do I do next to figure out wtf that was about? How can I know he's even being honest?
The OP later added:
catmunist_manifesto
Last night I asked him again what he was thinking. He said "jesus I don't know, I already told you." I said I couldn't accept that answer, because it's not a real answer. I told him we needed to talk about it because (after reading some of the comments last night) I needed to know if something was going on with him mentally.
He said it wasn't, I started naming possible things he could be stressed about like job/family/money and he said it was all fine. To my knowledge that's true, if something's going on then he's hiding it well.
He was visibly annoyed by my questioning and when I eventually asked if he realized how bizarre it was, he snapped "who effing cares, please stop bothering me I'm busy" (he was just browsing facebook).
He refused to talk about it anymore after that. But has been talking about other stuff as normal. It's like he's just pretending it never happened. If it hadn't, there's nothing about his behavior right now that would be weird to me. So now I feel like I'll be crazy if I bring it up anymore. I don't know if I need to just forget about it like he is or what. I'm still stunned and very confused.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's initial post:
Hobbesian_Tackle
Just a spoiled brat of an adult. He definitely had permissive parents that enabled this type of behavior. Just an adult with horrible, entitled behavior and zero regard for others.
Alma00019
if he had had a lapse in judgement and thought it was a funny prank, then I feel he would be laughing when you found him and being all like "dude, did you see the look on their faces? hahahah want some ice cream?" Instead, the way you wrote it, it sounds like he was furiously eating the ice cream he stole, and then ran away from you when he saw you coming.
So, he wasn't doing it as a joke. The way you wrote it sounds like he was manic, like an animal completely going on instinct. He wanted ice cream THAT badly that he grabbed someone's ice cream out of their hand, hightailed it home, and started shoveling it down his throat greedily, and then ran away once he saw you coming.
That sounds SO INSANE I don't even know what to say. I think he is probably embarrassed and doesn't want to talk about it. if it was a psychotic episode or something tied to mental illness, I wouldn't expect him to know/realize this.
So asking him "did you have a psychotic episode? Do you have a history of mental illness?" isn't going to be very fruitful, and it will just make him more defensive. You have to get to see a professional, but don't be accusatory or make him feel like he's crazy.
catmunist_manifesto
Yes, the way you described it is exactly how it happened. He wasn't laughing at any point. When he was trying to convince me it was a joke he sounded more defensive and panicky than amused with himself. If I can't tell him about the possibility of a psychotic episode then how can I get him to see someone? He won't see any reason to go.
jabexa
Yeah, I’m by far not qualified at all but I’m studying psych in college and this kind of stuff intrigues me a lot. Given that this is completely out of the ordinary for his behavior and character this sounds a bit like a psychotic episode which might be indicative of a larger issue. This situation sounds a lot like a mental illness either just starting or resurfacing/relapsing.
Four days later, the OP returned with an update.
catmunist_manifesto
So I finally got the explanation from him yesterday. Turns out he was in a Discord server chat where the members all dare each other to humiliate themselves by doing outlandish things in public they'd never normally do.
He told me he's left the group because the experience was really stressful to him. Not "exciting" like he'd thought when he joined. It was the first time he'd taken one of the dares. He said that afterwards he "just didn't know what to say and couldn't believe he'd actually done it."
He was extremely apologetic for acting like a lunatic causing me to worry about him. We had a long talk about it last night. I genuinely believe he regrets it. He knows what a stupid eff up it was.
Not much else to say really, just wanted to come back now that I got the answers. Thank you to everyone who tried to make sense of it in the original post, and who gave me advice for talking with him.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
Otherwise_Window
This dude is a dumba$$. The story is so pathetic it's probably true, but why exactly did he lie to you? What adult gets involved with nonsense like that? What's the next dumb thing he is going to try in his quest for excitement?
Rainyskies206
Really feeling the thirdhand embarrassment on this one.
finestgirlintheworld
How did she not leave him from the ick alone??
AccordingPears158
I mean it’s great he doesn’t have a brain tumor or something, which when I thought “what could ever possess me, personally, to do something like this?” was the only reason I could come up with.
But man, I don’t know if I could stay with a dude that finds it ok to steal from people, shock them, ruin their day, and embarrass himself so bad because of a discord server. And he left it because he realized how embarrassing it was for him, not because he realized how fucked up and stupid it was.
I do love the visual of him thinking “huehuehueh this’ll be SO FUNNY and EPIC” and then just running down the street with the sound of nothing but his feet thodding on the pavement, feeling ice cream goop pelt his hand, and people give me him the judgmental sorority-sister-stare as he trots in relative silence for several minutes.