'Deceased girlfriend’s mother threatening to sue for equity in my home.' UPDATED
"Deceased girlfriend’s mother threatening to sue for equity in my home."
My girlfriend and I were together for 7 years. She passed away 2 years ago. She lived with me for 5 of the seven years we were together. I bought my home a year into our relationship.
I was the only one on the mortgage and now I own the home. I came into full ownership of the home after she passed. My name is also the only one on all bills. My girlfriend did not pay rent.
My girlfriend’s mother has contacted me and has informed me that she intends to sue me for equity in the home, claiming that she has proof that my girlfriend invested in the home and that she paid to have renovations done to the house (we renovated one of the bathrooms and a bedroom and I paid all costs related to that).
She did so via her family attorney who I looked up and I don’t believe works in this type of law, he appears to do wills and estate planning. She is saying I owe my girlfriend’s estate $100,000. I have no idea where she could have even come up with this number.
For what it is worth, my girlfriend’s mother has never liked me and has been particularly vicious towards me, including an accusation that I was responsible for my girlfriend’s death (she died of natural causes).
I have not spoken to her since this outburst which was shortly after my girlfriend’s funeral. Her mother was the executor of my girlfriend’s estate. My girlfriend’s family, including her father and siblings, have always supported me and have denounced her.
Basically I am wondering if I need to actually need to worry about this and what questions I need to ask when I meet with an attorney on Monday. My name is on everything, I can’t even find any receipts or anything that even has her name on it.
This coming from an actual attorney does have me spooked a bit. I received this notice yesterday. Thanks for your time.
EDIT: By saying “come into ownership of the home” I mean to say I paid off the mortgage. Sorry for any confusion.
To clarify some things: No, her name has never been on the deed to the house and also no, we did not share bank accounts. I paid for everything out of my own accounts: the mortgage, the renovations, everything. She at no point contributed to these.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
If your girlfriend was never on the deed and there is no written agreement or documented financial contribution toward ownership, her estate has no legal claim to any equity in your home. Probate court cannot award assets the deceased did not legally or equitably own.
Any claim to equity would have to go through civil court, where the estate would need to prove she had a financial interest based on something like unjust enrichment or a constructive trust. That is a high bar without clear supporting evidence.
It’s possible this is more of a pressure tactic than a serious legal claim. If a lawsuit is filed, your attorney can advise whether it qualifies as frivolous and whether it would be appropriate to pursue recovery of your legal fees. Based on what you’ve described, the claim appears very weak.
Since she didn’t even pay rent, the mom can’t even try to clawback that as an “investment” in the home. Your GF literally lived there for free and the mom wants to grift 100k off you? You should file a complaint against the attorney who sent you the letter with the bar association. And let the mom know you’ll be doing it.
Saying you’re suing is different than suing. A grieving mother can say a lot of things that are not accurate legally.
I'm a lawyer, but not your lawyer and not licensed in your state. People threaten to sue all the time. Especially if they think the person they are threatening has money or will freak out and give them something just so they won't sue. People hear words like "lawsuit" and "$100,000" and freak out. Don't do that.
If she contracts you again, just let her know that you'll respond to anything properly served on you and then stop responding to her. Seriously, block her if for no other reason than for your own mental health.
If you're served with a lawsuit, hire a lawyer and go from there. If it were me, I wouldn't spend money on a lawyer "just in case." I say that because until you're actually sued and have an actual complaint, a lawyer can only give general and speculative advice on something that may or may not even happen.
Just from a layman's perspective, I cannot see how she would have any actionable claims... The home is not part of her estate. She is not on the mortgage OR deed. There is NO common law marriage in our state, so I don't she how she feels she has any standing...
Three days later, the OP returned with an update.
First I would like to thank everyone who expressed their condolences to me regarding my girlfriend. It’s been a very difficult road since she has been gone. Secondly, thank you to everyone who sent me advice and support for navigating this. I just want to tell my experience.
I ended up meeting with 3 different lawyers (2 free consultations and one paid). I went with all of the documentation I had and all 3 pretty much told me the same thing: unless they had something I didn’t, they did not see a case where her mother had any sort of claim to try to get anything from me.
We even went over Cash app and Venmo transfers, and while she did send me money thru those, the money I sent to my girlfriend was more than what she sent me.
The attorney that I paid for the consultation for offered to write a legal response to the letter on my behalf at no additional cost, but with the understanding that should she move forward with a lawsuit that I would have to begin making payments toward their service if I wanted to use them.
I agreed to that, they allowed me to read their response and broke down the legal terms for me that I didn’t understand before sending it. I agreed and they sent it. This was yesterday morning.
Earlier this afternoon I got a phone call from the attorneys office stating that they had received a response. The attorney then got on the phone with me personally to let me know that the response they received from her attorney stated that she would not be pursue any further and to consider the matter closed.
I know that my experience will not be typical of what may happen with others, but I wanted to make this update and again thank everyone for their support and their advice.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Mom tried to see if OP was a sucker or a roll over and lost.
People need to know, you can hire a lawyer to write a letter. It doesn't mean it has any merit or weight.
OP says the letter was sent "via her family attorney". Chances are the mom spun him some story and he believed her. She has now shown the lawyer that she is not to be trusted.
It would have been a fly on the wall for that lawyer when he got that letter and saw that he didn't have a case to win.
It's such a dumb thing to sue over, tbh. Even if she had put in money for the house, it's not an estate. It's not marital property because they weren't married. And upon her death, particularly without a will, the 'estate' goes to the owner of it. She had no legal claim on anything.
Even if they'd broken up and she tried to sue for equity, she wouldn't have been able to, so her mother trying to do it 'on her behalf' is just bananas. Not married. Not on the deed. Even if she had put money into it by living there or adding to renovations, it just doesn't matter.
It's like trying to sue the landlord of a tenant that passes because 'they painted the home and added a few additions, so I want to sue for equity'. Bananas. Glad he got closure.