I (25F) have always been the “responsible one” in my family. I’ve helped raise my younger siblings, worked two jobs during college, and even financially supported my parents when they hit a rough patch. My older sister “Rachel” (30F) has always been the family favorite—she’s outgoing, funny, and everyone gravitates toward her. She got married last weekend, and things hit the fan.
For context, Rachel has always had this “playful” habit of roasting me at family gatherings. It started with harmless jabs, like calling me “Mom Junior” because I’d remind everyone to take their meds or clean up after themselves. I laughed it off for years, but at some point, it turned mean-spirited.
She started calling me “Miss Buzzkill,” saying I didn’t know how to “let loose” because I preferred reading at home over clubbing. Flash forward to the wedding: Rachel asked me to give a toast as her maid of honor. I thought it was a huge honor, so I worked hard on a heartfelt speech about her finding love and the bond we share as sisters.
But when it was Rachel’s turn to speak, she gave this whole jokey speech about “the woman I’ve always looked up to…as a reminder of what NOT to be.” She then went on to “jokingly” compare me to a 1950s sitcom mom who “probably schedules fun time.”
Everyone laughed, but I felt humiliated in front of 200 guests. Even my parents were cracking up. I wanted to keep it together, but after the speeches ended, I quietly excused myself to the bathroom to cry. When I got back, the jokes hadn’t stopped—people at my table were still making comments about me being a “buzzkill” while pouring drinks. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed my purse and left.
Since the wedding, Rachel has been blowing up my phone, calling me “dramatic” and saying I “ruined her big day” by storming off. My parents are siding with her, saying it was “just a joke” and I “need to loosen up.” I told them I’m done being the family punchline, and now everyone’s calling me selfish for making the wedding about me. AITA?
CakePhool said:
NTA. Time to go NC with your family and see how it goes.
ForwardPlenty said:
NTA. When someone disrespects you as a person, you remove yourself from their presence. You know this wasn't just a poking a little fun, this was downright making you the butt of an ongoing joke.
The fact that she would make her speech about you instead of the life in front of her and her new husband is despicable. She can find someone else to humiliate for her jollies from here on out.
Lyzab77 said:
It's a joke if you laugh. When people laugh at you, it's bullying. NTA.
ilp456 said:
You didn’t “ruin her big day.” She is responsible for any ruining of her day. She’s a 30 y.o. woman who decided to publicly insult her sister and call her names in front of everyone they know. She’s really mean and extremely immature. And now’s she’s pissed that her own nastiness and immaturity caused focus to go to your exit. NTA.
Equal-Winner7370 said:
Man, I don’t understand this. People act like aholes and treat someone like shit and that person quietly goes away and then they blame the person they were abusing for ruining their big day. How about you just not open your mouth and be a douche. They ruined their own day by using someone as a verbal punching bag. NTA.
Veni_Vici-Vetinari said:
NTA. You didn't make the wedding about yourself - she did. She decided to use her wedding as yet another opportunity to bully her little sister. I'd strongly consider going LC for a while. You don't have to justify boundaries.