18-year-old man refuses to give up train seat for pregnant woman, snaps at old lady. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to offer my seat to a pregnant woman and asking an old lady to F off?"
I didn't say that outright, but I just couldn't think of a better way to phrase it. It's just my tone had given off a vibe that was asking her to F off.
I (18M) was traveling on a train. There was hardly space for anyone to sit. A few stations later, when a couple of people had dropped off, there was breathing space, but there were no vacant seats left anyway.
A pregnant woman entered the compartment and was apparently looking for a seat. Mine was the one which was immediately visible when she entered, and the people who had adjacent seats next to me were much older.
I wasn't sure whether I should offer mine or not. I was just thinking through it when an old woman who was seated a little ahead asked her to take mine. She told the woman as in "Take his seat there, there's enough space for you to sit."
I didn't like that she was directly asking the woman to walk over and claim my seat, and I protested. I told her "Hey, you can't just ask tell someone else to claim my seat. It's mine, I get to decide."
She asked me whether I couldn't see that she was pregnant, and that as a young man I had the ability to stand. Everyone was eyeing me as if I had said something wrong, but I got pissed off. I wasn't having that nonsense.
I told her that I am not doing it, and she began to accuse me of not having respect for elders, etc. A few others asked me to give up mine too, but I didn't listen. I told the old woman that she has to mind her own business, to not interfere in my affairs, and that I have every right to remain there.
She looked extremely cross and I probably came out with a bad impression on everyone, but I didn't like her attitude. AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say about this one:
didntcondawnthat aid:
ESH, except for the pregnant woman. The old woman shouldn't have offered anyone else's seat to the pregnant lady. But you showed a very prominent lack of empathy towards someone in a physically demanding state who did nothing wrong.
Everyday gestures of kindness improve happiness for the givers and the takers. You're the asshole not because you were obligated to offer, but because of the way you handled the situation.
Nirw99 said:
ESH. bro, to get back to an old woman you made a pregnant woman uncomfortable. you're 18 ffs, you should have better judjment. next time just stand up and keep fighting with old farts while leaving your seat to those in need.
2Whom_it_May_Concern said:
YTA. You exercised your right to be an AH. You do not have to give up your seat to people with disabilities, the elderly, or pregnant people, but that would be the courteous thing to do. You seemed to want to spite the old lady more than you didn't want the pregnant passenger to sit.
This makes you more of an AH. It wasn't principal so much as it was spite. You can sit, but be ready for everyone to think you're an AH. I bet in 15 years you will look back and cringe at this memory.
Knightseason said:
ESH you and the older woman, the pregnant woman is the victim here. You: yes you should have offered up your seat, even after the other woman told the pregnant woman to take yours. The only reason you shouldn't is if you have a disability/condition where you need to sit.
The older woman: she should not be offering other people's seats up, and saying you're young and should be fine with it isn't right. Someone can have a disability/condition where they need to sit, and age doesn't matter.
AdrenalineAnxiety said:
YTA. A pregnant woman standing on a train should be offered their seat by a fit and healthy 18 year old. The old woman also being an ahole is irrelevant, you should have just said "I was about to give her my seat, please sit down."
dogladieeeee said:
“I wasn’t sure whether I should offer mine or not” Yes, you should’ve offered your seat to the pregnant woman. YTA.
TimeSummer5 said:
“Not to interfere in my affairs." It’s a seat on a train. Yeah, I would’ve been a little annoyed too, but honestly you were an ahole here.