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19 y/o 'chooses parents' over older GF and child, 'she never explained how she got pregnant.' AITA?

19 y/o 'chooses parents' over older GF and child, 'she never explained how she got pregnant.' AITA?


"AITA for choosing my parents over my girlfriend and leaving her to take care of our child?"

Me (19m) and my girlfriend (27f) have been together for almost 2 years. Those have been the happiest years of my life. We met during my internship at my local nursery home. It is mandatory for students to have an internship in a social field if you want to study medicine in my country.

My girlfriend oversees human resources in said nursing home and therefore also takes care of the interns. We were very fond of each other as we had a lot of common interests, although I didn’t think much of it at first as I usually receive negative feedback due to me being a bit socially awkward.

One of the residents that I took care of and grew to like sadly passed away during one of my days off work. I didn’t take it too well at all and I was quite depressed for a while. I was told by my colleagues that this is normal and part of the job. They also told me that I should talk to my instructor about this as she has a decent amount of work experience and could provide me some closure and comfort.

I won’t go into details of what we talked about but over the next few weeks we grew a lot closer, and we connected over shared experiences and trauma. When my internship was reaching its end, I wanted to keep in touch with her, so I gathered the courage to ask for her number.

She happily obliged and from that moment on we texted regularly. Until she eventually asked me to meet her at her place and I ended up staying the night. It was my first time. Although she had lots of experience, she put in effort to make it special for the both of us.

This sort of event kept happening for the next two months until I finally asked her to be my girlfriend. She agreed but asked me to keep it private as she doesn’t like to hear about other people’s relationships either. I would agree to anything if I could be with her.

Fast forward a year, we have moved in together to the protest of my parents and had a very healthy relationship. Everything was smooth sailing until my parents forced me to move back in with them because my father got into an accident and needed medical care.

We also grew apart over that year since they have been very against my relationship. I think it was a good opportunity for us to reconnect and for them to get to know my girlfriend, but they refused to even acknowledge her.

My parents live a 30-minute drive away so I couldn’t see my girlfriend daily anymore. She seemed fine with us being apart until she told that she was pregnant. I was shocked and didn’t know how to feel about it. I always wanted to build a family and have children, but I didn’t feel ready to be a father yet.

At this point she was very insistent about me moving back in with her. I didn’t want her to be alone with this, but she never listened to my concerns about being a young dad.

She also never explained how she got pregnant since she is taking the pill, and we didn’t see each other that much either way. She started giving me the silent treatment after I refused to move back in with her and pushed her to consider an abortion.

She ended up giving me an ultimatum: my parents or her and our child. I never liked the fact that my parents and my girlfriend never got along but this was pushing it too far.

I love her but I also love my parents and I’m not ready to be a dad. I was honest with her and chose to stay with my parents for now at least and she hasn’t responded to my texts in a few days. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say:

AgonistPhD said:

What the hell was a 25 year old woman doing creeping around a 17 year old boy? NTA; stay with your parents.


Dude…your parents don't like your gf because she groomed you… You’re NTA but you need a DNA test and a lawyer. Good luck.

GeneralJavaholic said:

NTA.. Dude, you were a mark for her. She preyed on you. You were 17. She was your boss at work. She knew you were socially awkward and didn't have outside contacts.

Then when you were traumatized she made her move and told you to keep everything quiet and private. She alienated you from your family. She knew she'd get fired. It had nothing to do with not wanting to know about other people's lives.

Infinite-Lychee-182 said:

Of course your parents hate her. She's a predator.

jjj68548 said:

The age gap is why your parents don’t like her. It’s a red waving flag. I’m 28 and could never date a 19 or 20 year old guy. You two are in completely different places in your lives which is why the relationship wouldn’t work. Take a DNA test to see if you’re the dad. Then go through the legal channels of a custody arrangement.

Ice_Queen66 said:

Interesting your GF works in HR and chose to initiate a relationship with a 17 year old kid… who was her intern. She baby trapped you my friend. I’d suggest you just cut the ties and work on a custody/child support arrangement.

Everyone here was on OP and his parents' side. What's your advice?

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