24-year-old affair child tells dad, 'you have another daughter for that.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my dad, 'well, for that you have another daughter?'"
I (24F) quickly discovered growing up that I was an affair child. I could see the way my dad's actual wife looked at me whenever I was forced to stay at my dad's. Turn's out my dad was an even bigger ahole than it seems, not only did the guy cheat on his wife, but on his "favorite" mistress (my mum) as well.
How we found out was even worse, when I was nine my dad's wife couldn't take it anymore and left with their daughter, who was around my age. So my dad as the man he is tried to fully pursue my mum, my mum had declined because she fell out of love with my dad. Not even a day later my dad announced that his new lover is 5 months pregnant.
When the kid was born I still sadly had to go to my dad's (I never liked being there because my dad was abusive if I didn't properly understand some school material, yelled at me when I came home with anything less than an A and fatshamed me for being chubby at age 8. Thankfully, most of the attention had been wiped away from me.
During the first 3 years of my sister's life I always had to hear comments from my dad like how I was such a trouble child compared to my sister etc. When my sister turned 5, I started noticing my dad's behavior around her was much more pleasant compared to the treatment I received at that age.
Then after the kid's 5th birthday the comments about my sister being way better than I was, smarter and thinner etc started always coming at me. Over the years the comments kept increasing and increasing.
Safe to say that I had never felt as if my dad was my dad (in that role was always my older brother). And now if I'm being 100% fair, I quite hate the guy. I don't regret moving for college and not informing nor speaking to my dad for the first three years of living away.
For the autumn break, I have gathered up the money to visit my brother and my niece in my home country. (I'm pretty good in what I am studying + I have lost a lot of weight because of the stress, so my dad saw me worthy of being his daughter).
Somehow, my dad got a whiff of that idea and called me to ask me to go whim and a few of his friends to the annual autumn marathon, to which I responded "Well, for that you have another daughter." AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
mi_rtag_pa said:
NTA. And please be firm on your decision not to go. It's likely he doesn't have the self-awareness to know how much he hurt you through the years. Keep your freedom and your peace. It might at least make him think a little bit if he realizes you want nothing to do with him.
MerryMoose923 said:
NTA. Your bio-father lost the right to call himself your dad a long time ago. He chose to put his other children first, treated you horridly, and did nothing to have a loving relationship with you. And now that you are in college, getting good grades, and he approves of your physical appearance, he wants to do things with you? That's a hard no. Go live your best life and go fully no-contact with your sperm donor.
AnalSlice said:
NTA. F that guy (your birth father)! Go no/low contact. That’s the best way to heal.
KarbKardashian said:
NTA. What you said was perfect and, frankly, overdue.
Quick-Sky-2399 said:
NTA, just stay as far away from your toxic father as you can. He clearly doesn't value you. I'm so sorry, I personally know the pain of not being my parent's favorite and being treated as less than for my looks, weight, and intelligence.
Do yourself and move on without him and don't ever look back. My life is SO much better without my hateful, spiteful, cheating, lying, manipulative, degrading mother in it.
abriel1978 said:
Am I the only one who finds it creepy that her dad now wants to spend time with her because she's lost weight so her appearance meets with his approval? NTA.
Brilliant_Report_358 said:
NTA - you owe that man nothing and would probably be better off being NC with him, no child should have to deal with what he put you through. Go live your best life without him!