'AITA for asking my friend why she's having a 2nd baby if she's already iPading the first?'
"AITA for asking my friend why she is having a second baby if she is already iPading the first?"
My friend announced they will be trying for a second baby this summer. However she has long complained how overwhelmed she is as a mother to her 3 year old. They bought her first born an iPad at 18 months so she could "get a break."
This kid got his hands on my phone and got upset with me for not having games he could play (I don't have kids) and when I wouldn't let him play on YT. Clearly spending enough time being babysat by Nanny iPad.
I straight up asked her "Why are you having a second if you are already so overwhelmed with the first that you iPad it?". Yes, I could have said it nicer but my question was genuine. Whats the thought process of adding another child when you cant deal with the first?
Here's what commenters thought, and responses from OP:
Hachiko75 asks:
So what was her response?
LifeStatistician582 OP responded:
She blocked me.
Low_Actuary_2794 says:
NTA. People for some reason believe that having a child, or second one for that, will somehow fix a situation that they are unwilling to address or work to resolve. She’s in for a rude awakening if she’s struggling with one.
LifeStatistician582 OP responded:
That was my thought as well, when has doubling a difficult task ever made things easier? It wasn't said but I suspect it's a case of "when we have two, they can play together" when really that just means "I 'm expecting my first born to parentify my second"
BlueGreen_1956 added:
A new baby is not going to be able to play with a three-year-old for quite a while, so if that is her plan, she is in for a rude awakening. Your comment about parentification is sadly very likely.
Wait til she finds out that they play together by fighting.
To quote a documentary I watched some years ago, "kids aren't dogs, they don't give each other attention, they all need yours."
She’s just gonna end up buying a second iPad.
Most people who want kids don’t actually want the lifestyle that comes along with it. You can’t say that to them, though.
NTA. It’s a fair question. My kids will not have devices until they are preteens. But to answer your question, most parents don’t see anything wrong with iPading their kids. It’s just the unfortunate truth.
I've got no problems with kids having limited access to a tablet (or tv)-- but the key word is LIMITED. My niece and nephew were exposed to tablets when they were around 4 and allowed to play games or facetime ---OR they could watch tv, for an hour a day max.