'AITA for not going to my dad's house in an emergency where his 5-year-old stepdaughter was left at home on her own?'
"AITA for not going to my dad's house in an emergency where his 5-year-old stepdaughter was left at home on her own?"
My dad's got two step kid's from his wife aka the woman he cheated on my mom with. His wife's oldest is 14 and she's from her first marriage. She cheated on the 14 year old's dad with the 5 year old's dad and the 14 year old hates the 5 year old because of it and I care about none of them because I only go to my dad's house against my will.
I just turned 17, by the way, and before people ask the courts would not let me stop going to dad's house. My mom could lose custody to my dad if I don't go or I leave and go to her house after being made go to dad's. 50/50 has to stay in place until I turn 18. That's just the messed up way it is.
My dad knows I hate going to his house. He tries to fix what he broke but he broke it so good he can't unbreak it. He knows I can't stand his wife and that I don't want to pretend I'm someone's brother while I'm there since he tries to put the 5 year old's rejection by her half sister onto me and expects me to make up for that.
I left my dad's house yesterday morning because mom's parenting time started. My dad and his wife were leaving her daughters home together but the 14 year old went to her friend's house and left the 5 year old on her own. My dad and his wife were at work. His wife got a text from her friends parents saying the 14 year old made it safely.
She and dad were texting all freaked and he called me and told me to go and stay with the 5 year old until someone came home but I refused and he tried to get my mom to make me do it but she refused. His wife tried to make the 14 year old go back too but she didn't and the 5 year old was on her own for hours before his wife just left work.
Then when my dad got home he sent so many texts and called a bunch of times and I didn't answer. But he was like, "How could you do that? She needed you. She's only a kid" and stuff like that. The thing is I don't care. That's not a problem for me to fix.
I'm not their babysitter and I'm not a willing part of their family, if you could even call them that. AITA? I don't care what he thinks. But I did think a little about the 5-year-old and I know it sucks for her.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
"Dear dad, thanks for your texts - I totally skimmed them....you are right, next time something like this happens, I will do the responsible thing and call the police and CPS." NTA.
Also based on these texts and prior actions of you and your wife and her children, I am no longer comfortable coming over to your house anymore. It will take longer for this to go to court than it will for me to turn 18. If you pursue any actions in court you will be destroying any future chance at reconciliation.
I will not support or acknowledge your “family” in any way. If you would like to have a relationship outside the house and meet and talk on occasion, I may be open to that. Less so if you wait until she cheats on you like ther two priors and you two divorce. Otherwise, grow up and realize your actions have had permanent consequences and deal with them.
The only reason not to do this, is because the OP's mother may have to pay her lawyer $$$ to deal with this, up until the OP turns 18. But whether that's a problem depends on the on the mother's income and circumstances.
NTA. His wife should have left work IMMEDIATELY. Not stayed for hours trying to guilt trip 2 children into taking care of her responsibilities when its obvious those children hate her because of her behavior. You are not the AH & neither is the 14 yr old, to be honest.
Just text your dad; ”I know how strongly you feel about following the custody agreement exactly no matter other people’s feelings. I just made sure there were no mistakes that would make us have to go back to court.” Then ignore him until his time.
You’re right, it’s not your problem. One of those parents should have immediately returned home. Additionally, the 14 yr old is a known issue. So your dad and stepmom knew that this was a likely scenario. Dad is lucky you didn’t call CPS. NTA.
LittleFoyoo (OP)
My dad's wife is dumb enough to think her older daughter wouldn't leave the 5 year old alone. But she always overlooks just how much her older daughter hates the younger daughter.
Call CPS and report your step mother and dad for child neglect/abandonment. Then petition the court again to stop the forced visitation.
NTA. But I would have called the police for an abandoned child since neither of them were leaving work to go home. CPS is then involved and your mom has a better chance to file an emergency custody change.
This is a problem that is bigger than you. If the 14 year old left, I’m guessing she is the go to childcare and is as tired of things in that home as you are. NTA.
LittleFoyoo (OP)
Not typically. But I think they do try and make her babysit sometimes and she hates the 5 year old. I'm honestly surprised she didn't hurt the 5 year old while the adults were out of the house.
NTA they’re lucky that you and your mother didn’t call CPS because the child was unattended. The mother should’ve left work immediately not hours later. That’s a failure on their part. He just added another failure to the list.