'A man at my gym made me feel safe yesterday with a very simple gesture.'
"A man at my gym made me feel safe yesterday with a very simple gesture."
I’m 20 F and am a regular at my local gym. Anyone who goes to the gym knows that you start to see the regulars there all the time. I’m pretty reserved but there’s a couple other girls I’ve gotten to know. There’s a handful of guys that I recognise who just do their thing and keep themselves to themselves, and will nod or smile.
One of these guys always seems kinda grumpy honestly. Doesn’t seem like a bad person but always so serious and never seems to smile. Certainly not something that bothers me but just one of those things you observe. Probably in his late thirties. So yesterday I was at the gym in a big open room with various free weights, skipping ropes, TRX bands etc.
This guy comes in who I’ve never seen and I can see him looking at my butt through the mirror for an extended amount of time. He’s probably in his fifties. He then walks over to me and asks me what I’m working on, I tell him it’s leg day, he says it’s back day for him. He then starts basically telling me how to work out and the whole time he’s deeply looking into my eyes and is just really giving off creeper vibes.
He’s not some nuisance f-boy, he’s a creepy guy that’s probably double my age and I’m getting genuinely bad vibes. And I realise I’m kind of cornered. I don’t think anything physical is about to happen, but he started to make “flirty” comments and I just feel a bit suffocated. E.g.
He asked about my glutes, and then asked if I like to work them while wearing this awful kind of flirt face. It’s just us two and I’m feeling kind of trapped and anxious. So then the grumpy guy walks in, with his usual stare ahead face and pulls a couple weights off the rack.
He notices this guy rambling at me in the corner, and through the mirror he stares at the guy, then at me and gives me a little nod, as in “you good?” And I sort of widen my eyes a bit. I already feel awkward because what’s going to happen here? It’s not like I’m being physically attacked. But without hesitation, Mr Grumpy just goes “hey mate, want to give her some space?”
And he goes “what?” To which he responds “yeah, this room is massive, you’ve got her a bit cornered there haven’t you?” and the guy sort of laughed, then looked extremely flustered and said “yeah ok whatever, I was just talking” and walked off. I’ll add Grumpy man is a lot bigger than this guy, which in the world if men means something when it comes to this kind of interaction.
Grumpy went to put his head phones back on and I said thanks, and he said ”no worries, I’ve got a daughter who’s probably not much younger than you so I’m learning how it can be. I’ve got your back.” Then he just went back to working out and so did I.
I know this whole thing sounds blown out of proportion but I think the other women here will understand how easy it is to feel intimidated by a strange man, also how relived it feels to feel safe—and that grumpy man I can tell totally has my back.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Tremenda-Carucha wrote:
It's pretty wild how someone could feel so uncomfortable in a space that should be neutral, but having that quiet confidence to step in and make things right, it's kind of inspiring, really. Sometimes the people who don't say much are the ones who end up doing the most good, and it sure feels like that's what happened here.
Dreamingthelivies wrote:
I'm a dude and don't think you are overreacting. Once had a girl at a party coming on to me and I did not wanted her to, and that felt annoying. Imagine if its someone that can beat the shit out of me and is twice my age. Sounds not fun. Kudos for grumpy guy and I hope old weirdo backs off.
gbourg12 wrote:
I saw a post recently about a girl at the gym who had an uncomfortable encounter. She took it upon herself to tell the guy to leave her alone because he was uncomfortable. Then, a different guy at the gym kindly told her he’s sorry she has to deal with that. And she thought, if you noticed it, why not step in?
Why say something to me if to notice it is wrong versus saying something to the guy being crappy? She pointed out how rarely men will do that. This is an example where a guy DID stand up to point out uncomfortable behavior. It’s really great to here you’re in a gym where people have got your back. Sorry you had to deal with that creep!
Intrepid-Middle-5047 wrote:
Grumpy man is fed up and ready to take matters into his own hands. I'm sorry this happened to you girl. I too just recently had a creepy encounter with someone so I know exactly what you mean when you said you "felt awkward" because "what's going to happen here? It's not like I'm being physically attacked."
I'm going to tell you what I've learned from people on my own post about my situation and they're saying our instincts are right and you were spot on for feeling the way you did about the whole thing. You know what normal is and that interaction was not normal. I'm so glad Grumpy dad was there to protect you. Stay safe out here Queen.
theysayimadreamer666 wrote:
When I was in high school, my dad and I went to the gym together often, though we'd usually work out separately. One day, he stopped by the weight rack I was using to see if he had time to stay longer, and I asked him to check my form.
After he walked away, this enormous biker-looking dude came over and growled "Hey, is that guy bothering you?" My dad and I still laugh about it, but I've also always appreciated that guy checking on me.