Teen busts brother's girlfriend by accidentally revealing she has been lying about being a lawyer. AITA?
"AITA for accidentally catching my brother’s girlfriend in a lie?"
I (19f) have a brother (24m) that I'll call Liam. Earlier this year, he started dating a girl he met at his climbing class that I'll call Emma (26f). They've been together for 4 months and this weekend he decided to introduce her to us.
They arrived yesterday and are staying until tonight. She is a really nice person and we got along well. Then at one point my dad asked her what she did in life and she said she was a lawyer.
I was super interested because I'm currently studying law and have wanted to be a lawyer since I was maybe 10, so I was very excited to ask her questions about it. I asked about cases that she had, how she studied to become a lawyer, what her days looked like and many more things.
I might've been a little over enthusiastic and annoying but I didn't realize it at the time and was just excited to get to ask someone questions about my dream job. But at one point she said something that seemed incoherent to me. The details might be long and boring but basically she just said something that isn't technically possible.
So I was curious and a bit confused and I asked her how that was possible because I just thought she's the professional so she must know better than me. But as she tried to explain it she just said more incoherent and impossible things.
It was kind of like if someone was quoting things from Grey's Anatomy to doctors if you see what I mean. So I asked more about it to understand and that's when she admitted that she wasn't actually a lawyer and worked at a bookstore.
She told us that she was very sorry for lying and then left the table and my brother followed her. My parents kind of scolded me for being so intrusive and when my brother came back he was a bit angry.
He started telling me that I was wrong for "interrogating her" and that I made her uncomfortable, and that she had lied because she was embarrassed about her job and I just made her more embarrassed. Now he hasn't been talking to me since and neither has Emma.
I'm not sure I'm in the wrong here but they all seem to think so. I get that me asking questions was annoying and maybe a bit too much but I truly didn't have bad intentions I was just excited to be able to talk about it with someone.
And also I don't understand how everyone is so okay with the fact that she lied to my brother for 4 months and then also lied to us. I get being embarrassed but I don't know it's still a bit weird to me.
But I never meant to make her uncomfortable and I genuinely liked her. I don't see how I'm in the wrong but maybe I just can't see it so please tell me so that I can have another perspective.
For everyone wondering if I'm on the spectrum or neurodivergent in any way, I haven't been diagnosed with anything but many doctors and teachers of mine have mentioned it to me.
I can understand why but I don't want to self diagnose obviously. I haven't been able to get tested because my parents "don't believe in that stuff" but as soon as I'm fully independent (financially, and living on my own) I will get tested.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA. She’s a weirdo for lying about being a lawyer and your family is weird for acting like you did anything wrong when you assumed she was the knowledgeable one and was just trying to grasp what she was saying. It’s not like you were trying to catch her in a lie. She couldn’t keep up with it and had to out herself to end the conversation.
INFO: did your brother know she would be lying about her job and saying she’s a lawyer? If he did that’s really weird considering I’d assume he knows you’re studying in that field so you’d be curious. Plus if she knew you were studying law, pretending to be a lawyer to seem cool to you is weird as well.
Odd_Gur1166 (OP)
No my brother didn’t know that she was lying because she had also told him she was a lawyer when they met and he also found out it was a lie. I’m guessing she lied to him when they first met and didn’t expect it to take such proportions and was kind of stuck in her lie, which I can have sympathy for but it’s still really weird.
NTA.. If it was a smaller lie with less wider implications (whether she has travelled to X, whether she saw Y in concert, etc) than YWBTA for trying to pick holes. But for her to have lied about something so big as whether or not she is a lawyer (with the other implications about her career trajectory, financial situation, her ambitions, etc) is a fairly big thing for your brother to be kept in the dark over.
It might be that she was saying it because she is (wrongly) embarrassed about “just” working in a bookstore, in which case she probably isn’t a bad person. But whatever her motivation, it’s not great that she has misled your brother for so long. It also begs the question “what else has she lied about?”)
NTA I mean maybe learn to read the room but still an excited young person talking bit too much about something is at worst a little socially unaware but that’s not bad you couldn’t of known. She played with fire and got burnt.
Not to mention how could you possibly think this could work out with such a huge lie. And over so long. This is someone with some serious issues. Even if she didn’t have malicious intentions is still very disturbed.
She’s the one who lied, how on earth are you the bad guy in this situation?
There is this leagal concept called FAFO - you experienced it first hand. No, you're NTA but the lying person sure is. Being enthusiastic young student could be annoying but its fine. Being an older lying adult is annoying and not really fine - she was there to introduce herself, chose to lie and got caught out. Thats on her, not on you. And you got a free lesson on how not to FAFO.