'AITA for 'acting like a maid' at my sister’s house after she gave birth to twins?' UPDATED

"AITA for 'acting like a maid' at my sister’s house after she gave birth?"

My sister (39F) just had twins two weeks ago via C-section. If you’ve ever been around someone recovering from a C-section, you know it’s basically a major abdominal surgery. She’s exhausted, sore, still bleeding, and trying to figure out life with two newborns.

Her husband (32M) has been… less than helpful. He keeps telling her that since his job is “too hard and busy,” she needs to handle everything at home: cleaning, laundry, cooking, and of course taking care of two babies. She called me crying one night because she was overwhelmed, so I went over the next day.

Now, I didn’t go to hold babies or play “fun aunt.” I know my sister—she cannot stand clutter or mess, and her house was stressing her out on top of everything else. So I cleaned, organized, folded laundry, loaded the dishwasher, wiped down counters, vacuumed, and even prepped a couple of meals for her. I told her not to worry about lifting a finger.

She cried again—this time from gratitude. She kept saying how much it helped her mental health just to have a clean space while she heals. Here’s the problem: her husband came home and was livid. Not at me, but at her. He accused her of “making him look bad” because I came over and did everything he thinks she “should be doing.” He literally said, “She’s the mom, not you. You’re just acting like a maid.”

For the record, my sister didn’t even ask me to do all that—I did it because I could see she needed help. She defended me, told him she’s still healing, and reminded him that doctors literally told her not to lift heavy things or overexert herself yet. He brushed it off and doubled down that she should “suck it up” because “everyone else manages.”

Now there’s tension in their house. My sister keeps thanking me, but her husband’s icy with her and making snide comments like, “Don’t worry, your maid will handle it.” I feel awful, because the last thing I wanted to do was make things worse for her. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Tricky-Fig4772 said:

I hope your sister leaves that idiot of a husband. That’s sad to hear the complete lack of support.

Fraerie said:

Honestly - is there a way for your sister to come to your home while she recovers. You can be sure that she isn’t getting to rest and recover when you’re not at their place. Her husband would be demanding she cooks for him and looks after him instead of recovering from surgery and prioritizing herself and the twins. I am genuinely worried about her.

momof21976 said:

NTA. Tell him that if he would act like a father and a husband, you wouldn't have to act like a maid.

Plane-Assumption-334 said:

Oh my God, she married this man. Shes stuck and with kids, that absolutely sucks. Of course, reddit is going to say she needs to leave. I just wish the signs had been seen before the kids because there are always signs.

NTA a million times over. You didn't make him look bad. He made himself look bad. He's a horrible husband and needs to get his head on straight. He needs to have introspection and fast.

Filmlovinggal said:

Help her make an escape plan. She is going to need one.

Four days later, OP shared this update:

Hi everyone, thanks for all the comments on my original post. A few days have passed and… things escalated quickly. The next day after I posted, I packed up my sister and the twins and moved them into my house. She’s now staying in my master bedroom so she has space, privacy, and a en-suite, and I moved into my guest room.

Now, about her husband. He’s a doctor. Which makes it even worse that he’s been acting like her C-section recovery is no big deal. So yesterday, I went down to his hospital. I told the nurses and the receptionists everything he’s been doing (and not doing) at home.

I wasn’t screaming or anything, just very loudly sharing stories in places where a lot of people could overhear—like how “Dr. X thinks his wife should scrub floors while she’s still bleeding from abdominal surgery.” Let’s just say his coworkers now know he’s a lot better at prescribing rest than actually supporting it.

After that, I called his mom. For context, she and I are really close—we’re basically the same person in different ages. I told her every single detail: what he did, what he hasn’t done, what he’s said, and what he hasn’t said. Glad to say she was NOT impressed.

And I didn’t stop there, with my parents help, I told the rest of the family—close relatives, extended family, cousins, everybody. I literally spent the whole day calling and updating people about my brother-in-law’s behavior. If he wanted my sister to feel humiliated and unsupported, well, now he gets to feel it too.

Yes, I know what I did was a total b!tch move. But sometimes two negatives make a positive—it even says so in math. So here’s the update I’m sure many of you were waiting for, and I hope I was petty enough for all of you potatoes ❤️