'AITA for 'acting like a maid' at my sister’s house after she gave birth?'

"AITA for 'acting like a maid' at my sister’s house after she gave birth?"

My sister (39F) just had twins two weeks ago via C-section. If you’ve ever been around someone recovering from a C-section, you know it’s basically a major abdominal surgery. She’s exhausted, sore, still bleeding, and trying to figure out life with two newborns.

Her husband (32M) has been… less than helpful. He keeps telling her that since his job is “too hard and busy,” she needs to handle everything at home: cleaning, laundry, cooking, and of course taking care of two babies. She called me crying one night because she was overwhelmed, so I went over the next day.

Now, I didn’t go to hold babies or play “fun aunt.” I know my sister—she cannot stand clutter or mess, and her house was stressing her out on top of everything else. So I cleaned, organized, folded laundry, loaded the dishwasher, wiped down counters, vacuumed, and even prepped a couple of meals for her.

I told her not to worry about lifting a finger. She cried again—this time from gratitude. She kept saying how much it helped her mental health just to have a clean space while she heals.

Here’s the problem: her husband came home and was livid. Not at me, but at her. He accused her of “making him look bad” because I came over and did everything he thinks she “should be doing.” He literally said, “She’s the mom, not you. You’re just acting like a maid.”

For the record, my sister didn’t even ask me to do all that—I did it because I could see she needed help. She defended me, told him she’s still healing, and reminded him that doctors literally told her not to lift heavy things or overexert herself yet. He brushed it off and doubled down that she should “suck it up” because “everyone else manages.”

Now there’s tension in their house. My sister keeps thanking me, but her husband’s icy with her and making snide comments like, “Don’t worry, your maid will handle it.” I feel awful, because the last thing I wanted to do was make things worse for her.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Tricky-Fig4772 said:

I hope your sister leaves that idiot of a husband. That’s sad to hear the complete lack of support.

momof21976

NTA. Tell him that if he would act like a father and a husband, you wouldn't have to act like a maid.

Plane-Assumption-334 said:

Oh my God, she married this man. She's stuck and with kids, that absolutely sucks. Of course, he is going to say she needs to leave. I just wish the signs had been seen before the kids because there are always signs. NTA a million times over. You didn't make him look bad. He made himself look bad. He's a horrible husband and needs to get his head on straight. He needs to have introspection and fast.

Fraerie said:

Honestly - is there a way for your sister to come to your home while she recovers. You can be sure that she isn’t getting to rest and recover when you’re not at their place. Her husband would be demanding she cooks for him and looks after him instead of recovering from surgery and prioritizing herself and the twins. I am genuinely worried about her safety.

Poochie1978-2024 said:

NTA but her husband sure is! His wife just went through a major surgery and he expects her to jump right back and take care of the household? Was she doing everything leading up to the birth too? Honestly it sounds like your BIL is a piece of garbage that she'd be better off without.

UPDATE:

Hi everyone, thanks for all the comments on my original post. A few days have passed and… things escalated quickly. The next day after I posted, I packed up my sister and the twins and moved them into my house. She’s now staying in my master bedroom so she has space, privacy, and a en-suite, and I moved into my guest room.

Now, about her husband. He’s a doctor. Which makes it even worse that he’s been acting like her C-section recovery is no big deal. So yesterday, I went down to his hospital. I told the nurses and the receptionists everything he’s been doing (and not doing) at home.

I wasn’t screaming or anything, just very loudly sharing stories in places where a lot of people could overhear—like how “Dr. X thinks his wife should scrub floors while she’s still bleeding from abdominal surgery.”

Let’s just say his coworkers now know he’s a lot better at prescribing rest than actually supporting it. After that, I called his mom. For context, she and I are really close—we’re basically the same person in different ages. I told her every single detail: what he did, what he hasn’t done, what he’s said, and what he hasn’t said. Glad to say she was NOT impressed.

And I didn’t stop there, with my parents help, I told the rest of the family—close relatives, extended family, cousins, everybody. I literally spent the whole day calling and updating people about my brother-in-law’s behavior. If he wanted my sister to feel humiliated and unsupported, well, now he gets to feel it too.

Yes, I know what I did was a total bitch move. But sometimes two negatives make a positive—it even says so in math. So here’s the update I’m sure many of you were waiting for, and I hope I was petty enough for all of you potatoes.

Here's what people had to say about the update:

Specific-Quick said:

You are the sister she needed. You did a great job in letting everyone know who he is. Ignore him when he starts whining about the fact that his dirty laundry aired out because it’s not your fault it’s his for being a POS. Thank you for being there for your sister.

cupcakemon said:

I support this level of petty. Those nurses will spread it fast throughout his work too and give him so much crap. Your sister must be so much more relaxed now.

RelevantLeg73 said:

This was an absolute perfect update LMFAOOO!! The best sister award goes to you op

MasterpieceOk4688 said:

Yes, yes, yes Sister! Shame him everywhere especially as a doctor! He should be ashamed of himself and because he definitely isn't, let others be ashamed by his actions or Lack of them.

Abusers only thrive in secrecy and you took his only weapon off him. You are an guardian Angel AND a sister. The World would be so so much better with more of your kind.

Right-Mind2723 said:

Noooo, not the b move. this my dear was a BOSS move. His audacity is what led to this moment, you just happened to be the one to present to the jury of his family and peers the type of "person" he is behind closed doors when no one is watching.

Also, give your sister a round of applause as well for realizing that she was in it and needed help. Thank you for being her lifeline, cause you truly were from the sounds of it.

Zealousideal_Call183 said:

As a nurse I can confirm it will go through that hospital faster than a dose of the runs and you don’t want to get offside with your nursing staff...