Adult child of teen parents refuses to 'reconnect' after 12 years of no contact, 'I'm an orphan.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to 'reconnect' with my parents after 12 years of no contact?"
So I was born when my parents were 16 (my mother) and 17 (my father) and they ALWAYS neglected me in every aspect of my life. So when I was born my parents had no intention to take care of me and they always delegated me to friends. They never accompained me to any school, never celebrated any of my birthdays (they didn't even knew the day when i was born for many years), were never present for me in any aspect of my life.
I questioned myself if i was the problem and if i could do anything better so since the elementary school i was the best kid (with grades), always helped them with chores around the house, cooked for them lunch and dinner but literally nothing was right. They always told me that i could do everything better and that i was a total delusion for them.
I still remember when i was 10 and I cleaned the house before they came back home from work and when they saw that the house was cleaned pointed on the only object (an old flowerpot) that was still having like 1 cm of dust. I cooked for them dinner too but even there it was a failure because there was too salt on the steak. (I can write literally 1000 pages of things that I did and they didn't appreciate).
But then when I was 15 I simply gave up and started working 2 part time jobs because I finally understood that nothing would be good for them. So when I stopped doing chores around the house they complained about this and in full of rage I told them that it would be a failure anyway and since that day we never spoke to each other.
So for 3 years I worked my a$$ off to save money and to run away from them. The day after my 18th birthday I finally packed my stuff and leaved the house forever leaving on the sofa a note where I explained them that i was running away from them, the way they treated me (like nothing) and that maybe it would have been a good decision to abort or giving me up for adoption instead of treating me like i was a ghost.
12 years passed by that day and they never contacted me. When I graduated nothing, when I got my job nothing, when I married nothing. Until a few days ago. Me and my wife found out that she is pregnant and we're excited for the news. Lara (my wife) posted a picture on Facebook of her pregnancy test with the caption "baby incoming" and somehow my parents found out.
They texted me and called me mad that I didn't advise them about Lara's pregnancy but I didn't replied until 2 days ago. They called like 30 times in one day until I got enough and freaked out on the call. I basically told them that I don't have any mom and dad, I'm an orphan like I always was for my entire life.
I asked them which day I graduated and they didn't knew, I asked them the day I married and they didn't know, and finally asked them which is the day of birthday and again they didn't know. So if they don't know anything about me why they wanted to "reconnect?" They're just some strangers and I will never allow to have strangers around my family and then hung up.
Yesterday I changed my number so I wouldn't deal anymore with them. My wife is supporting me with my decision to keep going no contact with them while my friends are saying that they maybe they understood their enormous mistake and are trying to reconnect but I don't believe them. (my parents) SO AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Ok-Reply9552 said:
Nta. They don’t deserve to be in your life especially when they haven’t been before and it’s going well now. F what your friends have to say,they’re not the ones who went through that(or at least went through that exactly). You’ve already told them off so there’s no further need to talk to them. Keep living your best life.
Lazuli_Rose said:
NTA. They just want access to your baby. They are not sorry. Your friends are wrong. You lived it, you know how you were treated and your friends do not. Do not allow them back in your life.
Throwaway8378423 said:
NTA. Bro they didn't even know your birthday and want to "reconnect???" Wtf is wrong with them?!?!? Keep going no contact and enjoy your family.
ChicChloex said:
NTA. The audacity of some people is truly shocking—12 years of radio silence and suddenly they think they have the right to waltz back into your life because they heard about your wife's pregnancy? Actions speak louder than decades of absence. Your sense of stability and peace with your current family is paramount and should not be disrupted by fair-weather relatives.
Stick to your boundaries; they're healthy and necessary, and anyone suggesting otherwise hasn't walked a mile in your shoes. You're doing great without them. Keep thriving with those who genuinely care and were present in your life when it counted.
Foolish5678 said:
NTA why would you want to reconnect? So they can treat baby like they treated you growing up? No thanks. Future child is better off without them in their life
Loose-Structure-2859 said:
NTA. Send them a bill for all the unpaid child labor you provided and if they pay it, then they MIGHT be entitled to reconnect.
lunarteamagic said:
NTA. They can recognize how grievously they harmed you and they can want to fix it. BUT!!!!! You are not under any obligation to them. They were the parents. They epically failed you. You have made the best decisions for you and your family. Their feelings and wants around that are no longer your problem.