'AITA for throwing my rings in the ocean after my husband said he had an affair?'
"AITA for throwing my rings in the ocean after my husband said he had an affair?"
Dry_Cellist2768
This is the dumbest thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. This past Sunday, my husband and I (m29 and f27) were on our boat together. We were just relaxing and talking and having a good morning. All of a sudden, my husband gets really serious and tells me “baby, I’m so sorry but I have to tell you something. I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I had an affair.”
For context, my husband thinks he’s a comedian. He says dumb s#$% all the time but he’s never joked about our marriage or relationship or cheating, ever. The way he said it, I fully believed him.
I was blinded by rage and hurt and I’m not a confrontational person at all so all I did was stand up, take my rings off, and throw them into the ocean. I don’t even know why I did it, it was just the first thing I thought of doing.
My husbands jaw hit the floor. He immediately started to yell at me that it was a joke, a prank, he wasn’t serious and I was an idiot. My jaw dropped then too. I yelled at him too and called him the same. I cried too, realizing I just threw my lovely and sentimental rings into the ocean.
We’ve been arguing for days. He says I’m TA, I say he’s the TA, and I have no idea who’s right. Yes admittedly I threw about 10 k worth of rings into the ocean and we will never find them again- but he looked me in my eyes and told me he had an affair. I am upset about my rings. I’ve apologized for throwing them. But I just don’t feel like TA.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Oh definitely not the NTA, and you are owed new jewelry. His “joke” is a great example of “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” I feel bad you lost your rings, but I only feel bad for you.
As a side note…you’re sure he was just pranking you? And then freaked out when you chucked the rings overboard? If so, why would he ever think that was funny? I’m just curious, because most sane people don’t joke about s#$% like that.
Dry_Cellist2768 OP responded:
He “jokes” about crazy things all the time, but never like that, usually I can tell he’s trying to rile the person up. He also knows I don’t like his jokes he so doesn’t really do it to me. But I guess he felt inclined that day, I don’t know
try_hard1976
NTA. The fact that your husband thought for even 1 second that this would be funny tells me he's a stooge. and then to blame you. That was cruel, unfunny, and almost undeniably a permanent scar on your marriage, over a sick 'joke.'
PrideofCapetown
And please for the love of God, STOP APOLOGIZING!!! Those rings would still be on your finger if not for his complete and utter stupidity. This is 1000% HIS fault. Has he apologized?
Dazzling-Kitchen-750
Yikes, NTA. He brought up having an affair because he wanted to get a reaction out of you. He got one. He literally said the thing he thought would rile you up the most.
irukubo
NTA. Infidelity is no laughing matter. Your husband is very lucky that all he lost was a few rings. Some humans lose much more serious, precious things in an affair: their teeth, for instance, or their lives. I am told that on these forums frequently jumps to ending relationships, but I say this with all sincerity: get a divorce. Now.
Slight_Perspective75
NTA. I used to be married to a prankster. Then I went to therapy and learned that someone who laughs at your expense is not someone who loves you.
aerynmoo
My boyfriend plays pranks on me. Like the other day he kept slipping Andes mints into my coat pocket when I wasn’t paying attention and I’d stick my hand in to get my phone and find another mint.
Once, he put a D10 in my purse and I found it a week later. Last year he kept hiding a giant stuffed dog around the house to startle me and make me laugh. What her husband did isn’t a prank. It’s cruelty.
Serious_Watercress38
NTA. Ask him to explain what part of it was supposed to be “funny”. The breaking your heart part? The “I want to see you cry” part? The “let me put you under a terrible scenario to see how you breakdown” part? None of it was meant to be funny, if the rings are lost, they were lost on his own goddamn immaturity.
The_Ghost_Reborn
If someone lies to you about your child being killed in a car accident, then tells you later that it's just a joke, that doesn't change the traumatic experience you just had of believing your child is dead. Making someone experience trauma isn't a prank, it's engaging in cruelty for your own amusement.
offbrandbarbie
Someone who breaks your heart as a ‘prank’ isn’t someone I’d wanna be married to if I were you. You’re so young don’t be stuck with this jerk for the next 50 years. NTA.
Kgates1227
You don’t owe him an apology. He’s a sabatoger. What kind of human decides while having a nice day on a boat with their spouse to make a joke like this? I like to joke too, but this is honestly sick. NTA. This is just…icky on his part.
Longwinded_Ogre
NTA. Your husband, though, good grief. It's hard not to assume someone with such poor judgment isn't overall too stupid to love, y'know? There's no way to approach this in which he isn't just a catastrophic moron, wtf was he thinking and how, after the fact, can he think this is anyone's fault but his own.
Dude is lucky he's not newly single, and fyi, it's not too late, because anyone that thinks this had any hope of being funny might very well be a lost cause. I'd consider this damn-near unforgivable, personally. Show your husband the replies. The man deserves to feel like a jerk.