'Make their lunches or starve.' Mom's ultimatum backfires as teen chooses school 'trash' meals. AITA?
"AITA for being so against making my siblings packed lunch for school that I won't make mine anymore?"
I (16m) got so sick of the lunches at school in the last year. They're trash and nothing ever tastes good. Nothing's all that healthy either. So back in December I decided that after Christmas I'd make my own packed lunch in the mornings.
My parents were cool with it at first and my dad thought it was good for me because he and mom only have basic cooking and meal prep skills so he was happy to see someone in the household do stuff.
I ended up with a really nice rotation of lunches. In April my mom told me I should make lunch for my siblings (14, 13 and 11) too. I told her that was not happening and she should encourage them to make their own if they want something else.
Mom told me it wasn't a big ask and my siblings deserved better food too. I told her they deserve better from her then but not me. The reason I was so against this is my siblings have no boundaries where I'm concerned.
They think they can take my stuff, come into my room without knocking or asking, they can demand I walk them to friends houses when mom and dad are busy and so many other annoying things. It's not like the worst thing ever but it means I don't wanna do stuff for them.
My dad acknowledges and works on this stuff with my siblings and he's punished them for taking stuff from me before. But my mom always dismisses it as oldest kid problems (she's the youngest in her family).
Me and mom argued about it for weeks. Dad told her to stop putting it on me and he pointed out my siblings don't complain about the lunches. Mom said it wasn't even the point and she was mad dad didn't back her up but also that I was digging in my heels so much and wouldn't listen to her as my mom. She said it was a respect thing.
Dad got mom to back off for maybe two weeks but once school was out for summer she was telling me starting when school returns in August I better be prepared to make lunch for everyone.
I told her it wasn't happening and she needed to accept it. She told me I couldn't use food purchased for the household if I'm going to be this selfish. I told her that was fine, I just won't make my lunch anymore and I'll go back to trash my school serves.
Mom expected me to give in and make lunch for everyone and she called me a spoiled child for going this far with it. I told her I didn't care and she was not making me give in.
Dad told me I could carry on making my lunches but it led to another fight between him and mom and mom saying I was behaving like a selfish brat and they raised me better than that. AITA?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Your mother told you that you cannot use the food she is legally required to provide for you?
Mom apparently has some sort of weird complex if this favoritism all stems from her being the youngest sibling in her family. I wonder what happened to make her think that the oldest sibling is the younger’s toy/servant.
OP should reach out to aunts and uncles on her mom’s side and talk to them about her behavior. I bet she was the spoiled golden child. Sometimes you need the older siblings to put the hammer down.
Your mom is an AH and abusive AF. Don’t make lunch. And ask your dad for a lock for your room. Also tell your mom “you don’t see a problem with this because as the youngest you got what you wanted, but your siblings hated you because you were a spoiled entitled brat. Something you want to try to my siblings into.” NTA.
FromFripped (OP)
It's not so far off. My mom doesn't have a good relationship with her siblings and she's very spoiled and entitled and demanding in general. Lost her best friend last year over a birthday dinner.
NTA and I don’t understand why your mom won’t make the lunches.
FromFripped (OP)
Because she doesn't want to. So she expects me to do it instead. That way she still saves on the cost of school lunches but doesn't have to do the work.
My mom did basically the same thing. If I made something for my lunch, she demanded I share it with my brother. If I added something I liked but he didn't, she demanded I stop adding that ingredient. When I said he needed to make his own food, she said I'd already made enough to share if I wasn't being "greedy."
So I stopped making my lunches. When my brother complained about that too (he was actually complaining), I just told mom I felt like PB&Js today, and I wasn't planning on making more than I was going to eat, so he was welcome to make his own. She couldn't really complain because he'd made plenty of PB&Js and had no excuse to demand I make them for him. I never made lunch again, until I moved out.
Sounds like your mother was spoiled as the youngest, often got her way, and still has the same entitled mentality. I wonder if she and her siblings are close? I didn't speak to my brothers for decades until we met up for Nana's funeral.
Marriage and kids had mellowed him, and while I wouldn't say we're friends, we're not at each other's throats either. Nor do we really keep in touch. There's just too much time and distance, and we don't really know each other now. NTA. All your mom is going to do is make you resent both her and your siblings, want to get out as soon as you can, and enable your siblings to grow up entitled.