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'AITA for not agreeing to walk my dad's fiancée down the aisle?' 'It's become a source of tension.'

'AITA for not agreeing to walk my dad's fiancée down the aisle?' 'It's become a source of tension.'


"AITA for not agreeing to walk my dad's fiancée down the aisle?"

My dad is getting married in September and a few months ago his fiancée asked me if I would walk her down the aisle. She's not close to her own family and she has no kids of her own. Dad has me (17m) and my two sisters (20f and 15f). Our mom died 8 years ago. So it was just us and dad before his fiancée came into his life and then ours.

I don't really like his fiancée. I accept that my dad does. But she comes across as kinda pushy to me and a little too possessive. She had a "moment" when my older sister moved all her stuff out of our house a few months ago so she could take it to her own place.

The moment was over my sister asked dad for photos of his and mom's wedding if he had any spares and she was upset that they were still in the house. And the fact my sister wanted to take some. My younger sister and I got upset when all photos of our mom were taken down in the living room and dining room. Dad's fiancée was upset about our reaction and said we should want this to be comfortable for her.

She doesn't like us calling her by her first name and tried to influence us to call her Mami. We both knew that was another word for mom and said no. She said it's not mom though and could be special for us to call her that.

My older sister had a small surgery and she asked dad if he would be able to come and stay with her and drive her back to her place. Dad said he could try and he said to let her know if he couldn't. His fiancée told him she'd do it if he couldn't and my younger sister heard them talk about it so she warned my older sister.

So my older sister called back and said that if he couldn't she'd ask our grandma. Grandma ended up going with her and dad's fiancée got upset that she didn't want her there. Mother's Day was also awkward last year because she expected us to celebrate her. This year was doubly so because the expectation was still there.

I have talked to my dad about it and I have told her as well. But nothing really changed and she got upset (again). So I said no to walking her down the aisle and I have continued saying no and she continues asking.

It's sorta the final few months and she told me how much she wants me to do it because it shows me embracing her into the family and makes her feel supported by not just dad but the other male in the family. I told her I didn't want to do it.

It's become a source of tension. My sisters are on my side and dad has tried to compromise with her by them walking together but it hasn't changed things. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

BulbasaurRanch said:

NTA. This woman is trying so desperately to force a connection and needs time to develop. She has set herself back years by her aggressive approach, the exact opposite of her intentions.

You don’t need to walk her down the aisle, and you don’t have to feel bad about not doing it. Honestly, the way she acts towards you and your siblings - she’s lucky you’re even attending this wedding at all.

peachy_main said:

It’s crazy to me that she’s getting upset over you guys having pictures of your mom? Your mom will always be your mom no matter how many times crazy lady whines and makes you call her mami (cringe).

She had to adapt herself to the family not the other way around. She’s the add-on not you guys. (also it makes me uncomfortable that an adult is seeking validation from a teen).

Try talking to them again. I would guess you feel uncomfortable walking a lady down the aisle who’s made her sole mission to replace even the memories of your mom. NTA.

LouisV25 said:

NTA. Have a long talk with your dad. Tell him you’re happy that he found someone but she will never replace your mom. Tell him that her persistence has made you and the rest of his kids not like her.

Ask him to handle her expectations because it can only get worse if he doesn’t. Tell him not to allow her to have or get rid of any of your mom’s keepsakes. Ask him to divide them among you now.

cassowary32 said:

NTA. I wonder if her estrangement from her family has something to do with her entitlement and absolute lack of social skills. She needs to learn to read the room. Where is your dad in all of this? He needs to be shutting this down.

HolyUnicornBatman said:

NTA. I didn’t even have to read the story but I did and that just confirmed my answer. I hate when stepparents think that they’re going to be replacements for the actual parent. Especially when you’ve already made your feelings known and they double down on their efforts. Definitely don’t give in!

SnooBunnies7461 said:

NTA. She's not your mother. She's your father's so to be wife. She doesn't understand that this title is meaningless to people she hasn't taken the time to bond with. You and your siblings sound like a great team to pull together when setting boundaries with this woman and believe me when I tell you she'll be trying to overstep them all the time.

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