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'AITA for accepting a part in a play even though my boyfriend doesn't approve?'

'AITA for accepting a part in a play even though my boyfriend doesn't approve?'


You gotta follow your bliss, even if your boyfriend doesn't follow you there.

"AITA for accepting a part in a play even though my boyfriend doesn't approve?"

I (16F) have been a part of my school's theater company since I was in middle school. Theater means a lot to me, and it's given me a community of silly, talented, amazing people that make up my core friend group. While they would get all the leads for each show (both at our school and local community theaters).

I never got anything higher than an ensemble part or a part with a few lines, and it always hurt me a lot because I would feel excluded. I've never let myself feel too discouraged by this, and I've been able to do a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff for shows I'm not a huge part of, like building sets, making props, and directing.

This would always be super fun, but never as fun as being onstage and being a part of all the inside jokes my other friends would bring up outside of rehearsals (and this only added to me feeling excluded). Anyway, me and my friends all auditioned for a local teen production of Little Shop of Horrors last week, with four of us (including me) all auditioning for Audrey.

We audition, and I think I do pretty well, but part of me knows I won't get the part. Well, yesterday, the cast list came out, and to my surprise, I GOT AUDREY!! I'm so excited and still buzzing over the fact that I finally have a lead, and one of my dream roles no less.

All of my friends were extremely supportive and there was no tension among any of us over the results of the cast list, so I accepted the part right away before dancing around my room and going out for ice cream with my friends.

When I got back, I texted my boyfriend of a year (17M) about the news, expecting congratulations and excitement (since he knows how big of a deal finally getting a lead is for me). But instead, he told me I should reject the part because I'd have to kiss the guy playing Seymour, and also generally act romantically around him onstage, and that makes him uncomfortable.

The guy playing Seymour is one of my close friends I've known since 7th grade, and our relationship has always been purely platonic (he also has a boyfriend of his own). I can see how my boyfriend would be uncomfortable since I'd be acting romantically with someone who isn't him, and with someone I'm pretty close to.

I told him I already accepted my part and he left me on read, and I don't really know how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm hurt because he hasn't congratulated me, but I feel bad for potentially hurting him and accepting the part without talking to him about how it would affect our relationship. AITA for accepting the part?

Edit: I just realized that I wrote "play" in the title when Little Shop of Horrors is definitely a musical. When I say I've never been more ashamed of myself I mean it wholeheartedly and I beg for forgiveness.

People in the comments had a lot to say.

Ungrateful-Dead wrote:

NTA Your high school boyfriend will be a dim, fading memory as you get older, but playing Audrey is something you will treasure for the rest of your life. Sixteen is way too young to put up with a controlling boyfriend.

LSoH isn't the slightest bit racy and I think the bf is more worried about getting razzed by his peers about the kissing scenes than about how much you want to do this. You can live your dream or live under his thumb, the choice is yours. Have fun while you can. Break a leg and all that.

ecchobo1 wrote:

I second this. My high school days were almost 30 years ago. I can remember the names of the girls that I dated, but that's about it. I was cast as the Beast in Beauty and the Beast my sophomore year and I still remember my lines. And curtain call as a lead is a rush you will never, ever forget!

slap_a_frap wrote:

NTA - that makes him uncomfortable.

No, it makes him insecure and a child. This is acting. It comes with the territory. He knew that you were into acting when he got in the relationship with you so this is a no brainer.

I feel bad for potentially hurting him and accepting the part without talking to him about how it would affect our relationship.

Don't you dare feel bad for chasing your dream. If you're feeling bad because of him, then drop him. You don't deserve to have an anchor around your neck. You deserve to have support. He needs to be able to separate the art from the artist. Break a leg, OP.

PilotNo312 wrote:

First of all, congratulations! That’s a huge role! Second, this is dump worthy. Maybe have a stern conversation and allow him to apologize and change his ways, but if that doesn’t happen I’d say break up with him. This is your life and your dreams and he’s insecure and unsupportive over them. Don’t allow him to ruin this for you.

You know he’s just going to pick fights and make snide remarks whenever you bring up the musical that’s super important to you, right? NTA.

I was just thinking you get a whole solo song AND one of the best songs in a musical “suddenly Seymour” you are going to crush it!

ipolishthesky wrote:

If the guy playing Seymour is gay, what's the problem? Is it just that he doesn't want you acting like you're attracted to someone else?

Bokatan778 wrote:

NTA. Sounds like you have amazing friends, and an insecure, controlling boyfriend. You know what you need to do here OP. Huge congratulations on landing the role!! Future congratulations for when you drop your d*ad-weight jealous boyfriend. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of your dreams.

Honest_Advice2563 wrote:

NTA. He knew you did musicals and understood that plays have romantic parts in them, especially for lead roles which you have been chasing. You don't need to scrafice anything for anyone, especially your dream role.

I've done musical theater for 13 years and love it so much. I've had lead roles a few times that have given me memories I deeply cherish years later, I'll never forget the experiences of those roles. Keep the role no matter what and break a leg!

Key-Article6622 wrote:

NTA. And huge congratulations! That's a killer role. As the husband of an equity actress for 23 tears, All I can say is if he doesn't support you, he only cares about himself and is a jerk for telling you to decline what is without a doubt a plum role.

You stand your ground young lady! Chances like this don't just come along every day. Grab the gusto! Have fun! work hard! And if he doesn't support you 100%, screw him!

He isn't worth it. No one is. We have a running joke, my wife and I, because it seems at least once a year she gets cast opposite the same guy and they are usually husband and wife or at least love interests and while there's always a second or two of shock, they have true chemistry on stage, probably why they gat cast so often together.

He's her "stage husband." And I'm 100% a fan of both of them. But my wife chose me IRL and that's what matters. If your BF can;t get over it and see that, too bad for him. You can do better. Break a leg!

Sources: Reddit
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