'AITA for asking a family with a special needs child to move to the handicap area at the symphony?"

"AITAH for asking a family with a special needs child to move to the handicap area at a symphony orchestra?"

I was at a symphony orchestra concert and in the row behind me was a family with a special needs child.

Through the first act she was making screeching and farting noises (with her mouth) every couple seconds.

It was very distracting to the point where I couldn't really listen to the music at all. After the first act I turned back to the father and said "Hey I'm glad your daughter is enjoying the show but it's been pretty distracting, and I'm having trouble enjoying the performance.

Do you think you could move to the designated handicap area near the doors?" (where there were open seats). Want to emphasize that I did not ask them to leave nor did I tell an usher that it was bothering me. He got pretty hostile and called me an AH.

I had paid over $100 each for the the seats, and really wasn't able to enjoy the show at all. On airplanes and in public places when this happens I just pop in headphones, but this was a symphony orchestra - all you could do was listen to the music. Maybe I have a heart of stone, but felt like it was a fairly reasonable request. AITAH?

Not long after posting, OP shared a small update.

Edit: Because it feels relevant to the discourse the concert was sold out, and the handicap area was also closer/more central to the stage - just distanced a bit from other seats with space to stand or easily exit if needed.

Edit pt 2: Thanks for the comments. Nest time I'll talk to an usher.

The internet comments kept coming.

EmptyPomegranate wrote:

Sounds like she is autistic and engaging in some kind of stimming behavior. Parents should know that is not an appropriate setting for the potential of those behaviors to arise. There were more appropriate settings for her. NTA- but I would have gone to an usher rather than confront them personally.

74Magick wrote:

I don't know why someone would bring any child not able to be quiet to the symphony. Disney on Ice? Wizard of Oz? Sure, those are kid things, NOT the symphony.

TheAvengingUnicorn wrote:

NTA. Though the area you suggested is primarily for folks with physical limitations, your sentiment was absolutely fine. The parents should have had respect for everyone around them and removed the kid on their own. Having someone continually disrupt what is primarily an auditory experience with loud, crude sounds is not ok, whether the person is special needs or not.

Being special needs does not entitle anyone to ruin things for the rest of the people who paid to listen in a quiet, comfortable environment. If this ever happens again, I suggest that instead of directly confronting the problem, speak to an usher instead so they can handle it.

Willing_Card6893 wrote:

NTA you paid to enjoy the concert. I’m sure other ppl were also annoyed. If you know your child can’t be quiet it’s up to the parents to minimize and eliminate the issue special needs child or not.

Other ppl shouldn’t have to endure disruptive behavior. I definitely would have stopped an usher to make them aware and deal with it. You shouldn’t have to be the one to move when you’re the one not being distracting.

Sharra13 wrote:

NTA. They knew what their kid would be doing and brought them anyway. Not every event is for every person. It doesn’t matter if you are special needs or not—if you can’t be quiet, a symphony is not for you. There are tons of places they can take a kid who is noisy. Unfortunately, there are just too many entitled people out there these days that have NO consideration for the public around them at events.

I have a child and have raised her to be considerate and respectful in public places. She knows to be quiet at theaters. Meanwhile we BOTH get frustrated when we go to a movie and another mom is in our row letting her kids literally run up and down the isle and talk loudly throughout. It’s bad enough to have interruptions at the movies but I would be livid at a $100/seat symphony!

Houdiniilsdead wrote:

NTA for what you did, but I would have asked an usher to politely ask them to move. Whenever our kids would act up anywhere, we'd remove them from the space. Of course, this was at restaurants, not the symphony.

I couldn't imagine bringing a child that had particular needs to a symphony or a ballet performance. Many, many times these establishments have sensory-prepared shows and performances. So people can see it who might normally be louder than appropriate in the space.

roxywalker wrote:

NTA. Bringing a special needs child to a symphony is actually not fair to the child. No way they will enjoy sitting through something that is more acoustic than visually performative to young senses. And you definitely don’t go to a symphony to put ear plugs in. Not sure what I would have done, but I definitely question why anyone would think it’s okay to have a disruptive child attend a symphony if all places.

supergrl126301 wrote:

NTA- in recent years programs and shows like this have specific accessibility shows where they provide weighted blankets and adjust lighting and sound levels, allow for those with audible tics and stims, or people who cannot sit still to walk around and to enjoy the shows. If your symphony doesnt, suggest it.

I am a performer, and have performed during these shows and at first its very different but knowing they're enjoying the show in company thats not going to be annoyed or pissed at them was comforting. If I was on your side of things, I would have gone to an usher- because yes everyone should be able to go to the show but everyone also needs to be able to enjoy it and hear the performance.