'AITA for asking my GF to pay more in rent since she makes double what I do?'
"AITA for asking my GF to pay more in rent since she makes double what I do?"
My GF and I split rent 50/50 because while she makes double what I do she also has some crazy student loans. She is a nurse anesthetist making $150k a year and I make 80k. I agreed to pay half because it fit inside my budget but she finished her student loans payments 5 months ago and I think it’s fair she pays more now.
She was making $7k in payments a month in student loans payments after student loan forgiveness fell through which left her without much to live off of but now she is just living it up.
In the last few months she is buying a whole new wardrobe and buying expensive scrubs and all new makeup. And she just told me she is buying a new car. Her car is old but she is getting a brand new one. I feel like it’s just her enjoying her money too much when I’m out here paying the same with half her salary.
We both pay $1k plus utilities and I asked her to pay $1400 since she makes so much more. She got mad and said she paid half when she was a student which is why her student loans her so high.
But we moved in together 4 months before she graduated and she never asked me to cover her payments. I feel like she is using it as a cope out to pay more. It’s true I can afford my payments but in the interest of fairness I think she is the AH for refusing to pay more.
The internet did NOT hold back one bit.
BetAlternative8397 wrote:
Do I have this correct? You each pay $1,000 monthly and you earn $80,000 a year? What’s that net out at? $55,000-$60,000? So you have $4,000-$5,000 per month in discretionary income? YTA. You’ve got lots of money. She went into debt while studying partly because she insisted she on paying her fair share.
Now $150,000 annually probably leaves $120,000 after taxes, so $10,000 per month. She was paying $7,000 a month for a few years to pay off her student debt. During that time she had $2,000 or less in monthly discretionary income.
So she paid for her studies while she also paid her half of the home expenses. She paid off a large student loan while continuing to pay her half of the home expenses. Now she wants to spend some money on herself. While she continues to pay her share of the home expenses.
“Her enjoying her money too much”. WTF, man. Stop being jealous. You didn’t pitch in extra when she struggled. You don’t get to benefit from her success now. You aren’t married to her. You haven’t supported her in any financial way. Let her enjoy the fruits of her labours. My gut tells me you’ll soon be looking for a new girlfriend soon anyway. YTA.
Anonnie666 wrote:
In general, I think that the partner who makes more should also cover more. Either that or you downgrade to a place the lower earner can COMFORTABLY afford. And no, it doesn't matter whether you're married or not, 'cause marriage doesn't make a relationship more important. ;)
However, it doesn't seem like you care about fairness. You seem upset that she earns more and has money to spend. If it was about fairness then you'd have offered to help her out when she was a student. So YTA, because you're green with envy.
Novel_Pipe_9050 wrote:
"I feel like it’s just her enjoying her money too much."
Wow you are envious of her, your own girlfriend. So YTA!!!
Will0JP wrote:
YTA. You agreed on 50/50 and after working hard to pay off her debt, she's entitled to spend HER money on whatever she likes. She sounds like a responsible person and is completely allowed to purchase things for work (better scrubs, better transportation) and for fun (makeup).
You're not married, and no one is dropping out of their income-earning job to do the work of childcare; there's no communal finances; you agreed on 50/50 and you're not entitled to HER money just because she makes more than you. I'd seriously reconsider your sense of entitlement here. Maybe you should move out and live on your own for a while.
prismasoul wrote:
YTA. Rent is agreed on prior to renting. You don’t get to just change it when it benefits you. Also, you did not go to school for her or pay off her loans for her, you are not entitled to her money.
When I started renting with my boyfriend he heavily outearned me, and we did 50/50 everything. I now finished school with no debt and heavily outearn him, and we go 50/50. When we marry, we will merge. If you want her money, put a ring on it.
warclonex wrote:
YTA. There are many factors that go into splitting finances and no 1 way works for everyone....too many to actually consider in 1 post and couples can contribute in a multitude of different ways. Like a hypothetical....I can pay all the bills because I make twice as much, but my partner then agrees to do all the cooking to 'offset' that as an agreement....or other xyz ways.
But I CHOOSE to do it, instead of my partner EXPECTING me to do it (like you). But the blanket "she makes more and can afford to buy all these things I can't afford so she can now pay more" is about as stupid a logic as possible and you don't deserve to be in this relationship.
PumpkinPowerful3292 wrote:
YTA - Why do you think you have any right to what she makes? You don't. Splitting the rent is what you agreed to and it is fair. Quit trying to rip her off, because that is what you are suggesting. You want things more equal then get another job or a better one.