'AITA for asking my sister why she thought I would go to her baby shower?'

"AITA for asking my sister, what made her think I was going to her baby shower?"

Before my sister's baby shower we had a falling out, she is in a very bad DV relationship with her baby's dad (Danny) and it risked her safety, and the baby. Being the sister I am I tried to help as much as I could, the family helped. In the end, my sister didn't leave him, he just lives rent free in her house.

Mind you this is a cycle, she comes to us for help and we put our life on the line for her just to change her mind. At that point everyone is tired because we're going in circles trying to show my sister that he isn't good for her, she never listens to any of us.

I made reports, wellness checks at her house but she would lie to the people and say she's fine so they stop checking in. This is the part on why we fell out, my sister's baby dad will do anything to keep people out of his business.

He knew I was trying to make my sister leave him, while I was at Walmart I got an alert on my phone from my camera outside of my house. It was my sister's boyfriend slashing my tires, and he broke my window. I was furious about it, I paid for my stuff and left so quick.

I did call the authorities so they got to the house before me, I had the evidence but Danny left before they arrived. I gave them all my information, they asked if I knew who the person was and I told them where to find Danny. I was just glad the cops got him because what he did was disgusting and wrong, I was worried for my safety and kids.

The only person that was upset was my sister, she cursed me out and told me I ruined her life, that I'm jealous of her so that's why I'm making her life a living hell. I did get a restraining order on him, he had to pay for the damage or the car. That's when she gave me a final call and told me she doesn't want me around her ever again so I need to stay in my place and mind my business.

I did as she wished, we lost contact after that, she is grown and can make her own decisions so I can't force that. I got the first call from her, she spoke in a low tone when she asked me why I didn't come to the baby shower, I heard that not many people showed up not even our mom. I told her what made her think I was coming to her baby shower when she didn't want me around.

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Proud_Fishermand_5233 wrote:

If he slashed your tires, wouldn't he get locked up at least for a few days.

OP responded:

He was, this happened months ago. I was just telling the backstory of what occurred for my sister and I relationship to be like this.

Candy_Zeit wrote:

Statistics say it takes on average 7 attempts before someone is successfully able to leave a DV situation. He's alienating her from everyone, and the more bridges she burns, the more she'll only have him for support. it's an abusers goal to isolate their victims. You're NTA for not going, but she is reaching out now, and it sounds like she needs support outside of this relationship.

OP responded:

I'm scared for my life and my children, I'm putting myself at risk and I've done as much as I could. She really only called to make me feel bad about myself sadly, I'm an AH sister she says.

Kcollar59 wrote:

NTA. Also, it takes about 5-7 attempts to leave before a DV victim stays gone. Hopefully your sister can get out if not for herself, then at least for the child. Maybe you can repair your relationship when she finally frees herself. Until then, keep yourself safe.

ExtremeJujoo wrote:

NTA. It is bad enough she puts her children’s lives in danger, as well as herself. But then she also puts you and your family in danger because of that manbaby. I would absolutely have nothing to do with her. Even if she did eventually dump him, just because the odds are high she will find another turd like him.

Apprehensive_War9612 wrote:

NTA. Your sister’s relationship is also putting you & your kids at risk. She is endangering your children with her poor choices. Distancing yourself is all you can do until she actually leaves him & stays gone.

Sadly, even if she does, they have a child so he will probably never fully be gone, & he can still come after you to get to her if she leaves. So space from your sister may be the best thing for you.

Lazy-Instruction-600 wrote:

NTA. My sister pulls this nonsense too. Everything must be because I disapprove of her relationship and must think I’m better than her. Nothing of the sort. She’s a grown woman and can make her own choices, regardless of how stupid I think those choices are. But no one can force you to be around people you don’t want to be around.

Especially when the things they do are CRIMINAL.

OP, your sister’s sperm donor deserves to be in jail. I hope he’s there for a very long time. Lord knows what he would have done if you had been there, walking to your car or something when he showed up. Be careful and keep these people far away from you.

Used_Clock_4627 wrote:

I heard that not many people showed up not even our mom Sounds like your sister is FINALLY realizing those bridges she's burning lead her to others. NTA. Keep the low/no contact. It's what she demanded, it's what she needs, even if she doesn't like it. The safety of yourself and your immediate family come FIRST. Not your sister or her BS.