'AITA for being mad at my sister because of her PowerPoint of my husband and I at our wedding?' UPDATED
"AITA for being mad at my sister because she showed a PowerPoint presentation with private 's-xy' pictures of my husband and I at our wedding reception?"
This past weekend was my wedding and it was technically my second, "proper" wedding because my husband and I "eloped" and got married in Vegas, so this was an event more for the family than for us. My sister was my maid of honor and she showed a PowerPoint presentation/pic montage during the reception.
But I thought it was going to be just cute pictures and videos of me and my husband (we've been friends since the first grade so there's a lot of material) but instead my sister was like, "For all of you who don't know, this is my sister and (my husband's name)'s second wedding. Let's see how the first one went!"
And here's the thing: We got married in Vegas. S--t got a little weird and we took a million pictures and video and many of them looked super inappropriate out of context (and in context!). Like, we had no bachelor or bachelorette party so the night before the wedding we went to a str*p club with female str*ppers and to one with male st*ippers, as a gag.
So there was a pic of me glaring fake-angry at my husband looking at some big a-s t--ties and one of my husband doing the same while I'm looking at a dude doing the helicopter with his d-ck. There was a pic of us eating Domino's in a hotel room only in our underwear. There was a pic of us doing an impromptu "s-xy" cowboy/cowgirl photoshoot near the Grand Canyon (it's an inside joke, too long to explain).
There was a pic of me at a hotel pool wearing a seriously minuscule bikini that may as well be invisible and virtually my whole butt hanging out with my husband doing the Will Smith meme. There was a pic of my husband naked playing the guitar with only the guitar covering his junk and me fake-singing next to him wearing only a long t-shirt.
There was even a pic that had nothing to do with the wedding of us in costume as Cyclops and Emma Frost for a Halloween party, so it obviously looks like I'm wearing lingerie (which I was, half) and my husband's package in the tight suit is super noticeable.
The presentation finished with an admittedly very nice montage of pictures and video of me and my husband in school and high school, etc, juxtaposed with more recent (and appropriate) pics and it was genuinely very moving and everyone loved that part, but I was seriously dying of embarrassment about the other pics.
I mean, my grandma was there and both of my husband's grandparents too! And a bunch of people who we're technically but not really close to. Our friends thought it was hilarious, though. AITA for thinking my sister crossed a line by including those pictures, which I shared only with her in confidence?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
BetAlternative8397 wrote:
NTA. A wedding is not a comedy roast.
OP responded:
I would've preferred an actual comedy roast to this.
Lucky-Effective-1564 wrote:
"Thank you sis for all you hard work in making the presentation. It only goes to prove what an utterly, stupid, thoughtless person you are."
OP responded:
I said to her something to that effect and she started crying and called me ungrateful. The part that K*LLS me is that the 2nd part of the presentation (the one that didn't include the Vegas pics) was the best thing ever.
Like, she somehow found a previously unearthed home video of my husband and I when we were like 8 years old saying we were going to marry each other when we grew up and that made me so emotional I felt like I was going to faint. If she'd just stuck to that, it would've been absolutely perfect.
Practical_Hippo9126 wrote:
Your sister is stupid or dislikes both of you.
OP responded:
I think it's the former. I don't think she's stupid in general but she was majorly stupid in this specific situation.
velvetrangegirl wrote:
Yes, you are justified in feeling upset. Your sister violated your trust by sharing private and potentially embarrassing photos at a public event without your consent. It's reasonable to expect a maid of honor to respect your boundaries, especially regarding intimate moments.
bellefante wrote:
I was the MOH at my sister's wedding and you know what I did? I gave a speech about how she raised me and was so important to me and that I was proud of her and happy for her. You know, normal stuff. I did NOT have a slideshow of inappropriate photos of her. I don't even have photos like that of her wtf?? NTA.
The next day, OP shared an update.
I'm going to give this little update, for closure's sake, and then put this whole thing behind me. First off, I was taken aback by the amount of comments that said my sister clearly did this to humiliate me, most likely out of jealousy.
Jealousy of what? My husband? She's gay and has been in a loving relationship for ages. My wedding? My mom has even offered to pay for her wedding a million times and my sister's always declined, she doesn't want one. My trip to Las Vegas? My sister had wilder nights every other weekend back in the day. No, I don't think this was done maliciously, she was just a moron.
So, the fallout of the pictures: My mom and aunt blew up at my sister about them, telling her that some family members low-key commented that they were pretty trashy. My husband assures me that on his family side, everyone thought it was hilarious and they're all chill about it.
Only one of my elderly aunts approached me and, referring to the photo where my husband's package looks...sizable in the Cyclops costume, whispered "Congratulations" and walked away with a wink and a smile. So that was wild and unexpected but nice. At least someone on my side of the family can see the bright side.
Anyway, my sister got furious at me and my mom and called us "unbelievably ungrateful" and says this is the last time she does anything for either of us and right now she isn't talking to any one of us and I don't feel like talking to her either.
Things are tense with my mom too because she's kind of blaming me, saying things like "What were you thinking? Why would you take those kinds of pictures?" and I'm not here for that BS so I'm kind of muting her too for the moment.
Out of curiosity, I called my sister's partner (let's call her "Rose"), who helped her edit the presentation, and asked what was my sister thinking including those pics. She said they cleared it with my husband in advance. I told him and he was like "WHAT?? NO."
He says my sister asked him if they could add some of the Vegas pics to the presentation but he assumed they were the non-weird, non-inappropriate ones, like the ones of us at the Strip, at the gondola thing, etc. Why would he even assume she meant the inappropriate pictures? She's going to try to claim some misunderstanding or something but I don't buy it.
Anyway, I know I'm going to forgive my sister eventually and my mom will do too. The portion with the other pics and videos and especially the video of 8 year old us seriously moved me so deeply that it's winning the battle against the full-body cringe I'm still experiencing from the pics. I'm going on my honeymoon this weekend and hoping everything will be back to normal by the time I come back.
The internet was deeply invested in the update.
Material_Cellist4133 wrote:
I still think she did it on purpose.
And she is jealous of your life. Like all of it together and maybe the attention you were suppose to get that day. Yes you mother can pay for her wedding but that doesn’t mean she can’t be jealous of you for a day that isn’t about her…
TroublesomeTurnip wrote:
Why would you forgive your sister? She was way out of line and publicly shamed you.
I also question the sanity of your sister's SO. Who would think that's appropriate even with false information that it's approved???
trekgirl75 wrote:
This is something I would have done for my siblings bc I have that type of sick humor but I definitely would have gotten permission first bc like you said, some elders don’t like to see that type of stuff. And by permission, I would be specific about what photos they are.