'AITA for breaking up with my cheating fiancé and throwing him out? My parents want me to hear him out."
"AITAH for breaking up with my cheating fiancé and throwing him out, even though my parents want me to take him back?"
I (28F) recently found out that my fiancé (30M), whom I'll call "Jake," has been cheating on me with his coworker, "Emily." We’ve been together for five years, engaged for one, and I truly believed we were building a life together. We live in an apartment that we both pay for, though I was the one who initially put down the deposit and handled most of the furnishing. It’s my home just as much as his.
For the past few months, Jake had been acting strange—working late more often, being glued to his phone, and just generally distant. I chalked it up to work stress, as he’s been gunning for a promotion. I trusted him completely, so I never suspected anything... until a week ago.
I came home early from work, planning to surprise Jake with his favorite dinner. But when I walked into our apartment, I found him and Emily on our couch, making out like teenagers. It felt like the ground had fallen out from under me. I was in complete shock, but I didn’t say a word. Instead, I turned around, went to our bedroom, packed a bag with his essentials, and marched back to the living room.
I threw the bag at Jake and told him to get out. He tried to explain, apologize, and beg, but I couldn’t even hear him over the roaring in my ears. I told him we were done, and he needed to leave immediately. Emily scrambled out of there, and after what felt like an eternity, Jake left too. I cried myself to sleep that night. The next morning, I called my parents to tell them what happened.
I thought they’d be supportive, but instead, they were...disappointed in me. They think I’m overreacting and that I should forgive Jake. According to them, “Everyone makes mistakes,” and Jake has always been a “good man” who “deserves another chance.” They even went so far as to invite Jake over to their house to talk about the situation behind my back.
I feel utterly betrayed by my parents. Jake broke my trust, shattered our future, and humiliated me in our own home. How could I possibly take him back? But my parents are relentless. They’ve been calling and texting every day, urging me to reconsider, saying I’m being too harsh and that I shouldn’t throw away our relationship over “one mistake.”
They even suggested that I was partly to blame because I wasn’t “attentive enough” to Jake’s needs lately. Now I’m stuck in this awful situation. My fiancé cheated on me, I ended the relationship, and now my own parents are treating me like I’m the one who did something wrong.
Part of me wonders if I really am being too harsh. But another part of me feels like I need to stand my ground and protect myself from more heartbreak. So, AITAH for breaking up with my cheating fiancé and throwing him out, even though my parents think I should forgive him and take him back?
The internet had lots to say in response.
Fun-Yellow6576 wrote:
NTA. And it was t one mistake. It went on for months.
OP responded:
Thanks.
Doble_C13 wrote:
Why not be an actual AH? Call your parents and tell them they approved of a cheating idiot bc both are cheating idiots and watch them implode before going NC?
Iamevilcupcake wrote:
OH MY GOD. Cheating on a partner is not a mistake. Adding salt to your coffee instead of sugar is a mistake. Cheating on someone is a process, and there are plenty of opportunities to not actually go through with it, and when it's more than a one off, which it appears that's the situation here, then it takes planning!
Your parents are awful. Ditch them too. If they can't see their support of your ex is wrong, they aren't going to make things easy for you. NTA. You deserve way better.
Bigredzombie responded:
Even worse is they did it at her home at a time that he should have known she could be there. How many times did this happen before they got comfortable enough to take it home? How many times did mom and dad know about it happening?
How long would it have continued if she hadn't caught them? Not only does this show they can't be trusted but it also shows how little they respect her. The parents can keep him and Emily. Op deserves much better.
SmittenSoldier91 wrote:
NTA. This is guaranteed to be more than once, so it isn't one mistake as these people claim it is, but rather a chain of decisions that ended a perfectly good relationship.
ScarletDarkStar wrote:
Ask your parents which one of them cheated on the other. NTA. Is not unreasonable to expect to be able to trust your partner. You walked in on his with a coworker in your house. That's not someone you go ahead and marry. Good men aren't found making out with their coworkers while their fiancée isn't looking.
FranciscoDanconia85 wrote:
You’re NTA. Why are your parents so willing to forgive Jake?